Physiology of Male Sex Drive - 72 hour issue

[Deleted User 2828]

Removed by author May 2023.

[closertotheheart]

Are there any studies on males who had to have their prostate and seminal vesicles removed due to cancer? It would be interesting if there is a before/after difference on their sex drive that could be attributed to no longer having the things that fill up with the makings of semen.

[Ron]

Are there any studies on males who had to have their prostate and seminal vesicles removed due to cancer? It would be interesting if there is a before/after difference on their sex drive that could be attributed to no longer having the things that fill up with the makings of semen.

Good question. I have a friend that had that surgery due to cancer. He said his sex drive dropped some, but not a lot and eventually came back.

[Deleted User 2828]

Removed by author May 2023.

[closertotheheart]

Maybe drive is not the right word because I can have a high drive even if my seminal vesicles have just been emptied. That feeling of fullness and aching when it’s been ~72 hours I thought was attributed to seminal vesicles being full. If one no longer has seminal vesicles, does that feeling disappear?

[Crow]

For me, there seems to be a complete separation of the physical discomfort from libido. Libido is a hunger and includes the emotional motivators. Physical discomfort is just physical discomfort.

My hypothesis is that there may be a correlation for those with a moderate libido, but not so much for those of us with very high libidos. For a moderate libido man, after a couple of days, the sexual deprivation increases libido, and often correlates with discomfort.

For those of us with very high libido, our libido is only satiated for a few minutes after orgasm. Even if my penis is in a non-functional refractory period, I’ll still crave oral sex (both giving and receiving) and all of the scents and tastes associated with it. I’m also quickly craving the visual stimuli of the naked female form. Physical discomfort may increase after a few days, but it doesn’t correlate with libido.

[Lightbulb]

I understand your thinking and respect your desires. But people change, almost everyone changes. The desire for sex daily or several times a week dies off in almost everyone, especially women and by 40 or 50 the desire changes you will have to adjust to regardless of any prenubtual agreement. You will either do what most men do and take matters into your own hand. Find some help, Or find a younger wife.

It's about the heart and attitude of the wife (or husband). One doesn't have to be driven by emotion, mood, desire or libido.

My heart, therefore my behavior changed in my late 30's, a decade later, I am still going strong with the almost daily sex.

Agree, it is at its core a heart issue. I don't blame my wife for not having a high libido. But I am baffled by the heart issue - she is by nature a kind hearted and generous person with everyone else. Like Intimate Moment says, almost everyone has to change their expectations, but a loving spouse should want/strive to make their spouse fulfilled.

My wife and I also had that premarital discussion on what our sex life would be like. I was really bothered by the dialogue with my work friends that said be prepared to have an almost unbelievably small amount of sex. I thought this HAD to be about husbands not giving their all to the marriage and therefore not getting what they expected out of it. So when I expressed this concern to her, she convincingly proclaimed that will never happen to us. Two months after our wedding, I was scratching my head in disbelief wondering what on earth happened to the caring kindhearted woman I had asked to marry me. Three decades later I am still wondering the same thing.

[SeekingChange]

I don't want anyone to think I am pointing finger, because really, we all have the dark corners in our lives that have "heart issues." Praise Jesus for His grace and the process of sanctification!

[proverbs519man]

I am quicker than this. Within 24 hours I can notice a build up. 48 hours it starts to get rather uncomfortable. By 72 hours it can be uncomfortable enough to need ice or I find it too distracting to concentrate. Walking aggravates it as well.

In terms of arousal, I would say I go through life basically at a 4 out of 10 in terms of how horny I am. It drops lower after lengthy or frequent sex. But only will go under a 2 if I'm extremely ill. It goes up to about a 6 after one day, and then peaks at around an 6-8 after about 3 days or so unless I trigger it further with some sort of input. I can also highly distract myself to drop it to more like a 5.

When I'm at an 8 it's hard for me to even look at my wife without being uncomfortable. I will sometimes start crying or just have so much energy that it's excruciating. Sometimes exercise can help.

Any woman who wants to say that I should just suck it up would be a horrible person. I obviously don't use it a license to sin and just lust after random women or abuse my wife.

Thankfully, my wife is very generous and understands my physical needs. And yes, I do call them needs because the physical impact on my life is dramatic enough to warrant being a need. But before we got married I made it clear that sex would have to be a regular thing and if she didn't want that she should just marry someone else with a lower libido.

I understand your thinking and respect your desires. But people change, almost everyone changes. The desire for sex daily or several times a week dies off in almost everyone, especially women and by 40 or 50 the desire changes you will have to adjust to regardless of any prenubtual agreement. You will either do what most men do and take matters into your own hand. Find some help, Or find a younger wife.

Uneven sexual desire happens in most marriages even those that claim everything is great. Sex is the thing most people lie about. Women claim they are virgins to marry. Or do things sexually before marriage that they will no longer do after the honeymoon.

So in an ideal world you might find someone with your high labido and she stays that way for a lifetime, the odds are agaisnt you. In the end most of us settle.

I have no idea how this is relevant to what I said. The agreement is not that my wife is interested, it's that she accommodates me. I obviously would like her to enjoy it, but I always knew that my enjoyment would exceed hers and that is just the way it is.

If she decides to be unfaithful to our wedding vows, then separation and divorce on the table. Just like they would be for any sort of chronic abuse or sin issue.

I certainly don't expect it to come to that. But if she one day decides and wakes up to be a horrible person, I might have no choice. Just like women who end up with chronically violent husbands or the like.

There is simply no option for her to decide one day that sex is not part of our marriage. The day she does that is the day our marriage is over unless she repents.