SeekingChange wrote: ↑Sat Oct 30, 2021 12:43 pm
Over on The Generous Husband, he talks about "Easy Sex"
. It is basically around when the husband is horny and the wife is tired.
Paul says, "The idea is you [the husband] do all the “work” and you make sure she gets to come. How that will look depends on her...
And he closes with, "This is not the kind of sex anyone wants all the time, but it’s a good option when the other choice is no sex or leaving her frustrated doing something just for you. This is no-frills, you both come, and she does nothing sex. If it means more sex overall, it’s a win/win. Why not ask your wife if she thinks easy sex has a place in your life?
Do you do this? Have you approached your spouse about it? Any thoughts on this idea or your experience with it?
For us, I believe it's been a life-saver, but I am sure he can get tired of it.
I would wager that nearly half of our sexual connections could fall into the "lazy sex" category during times like this in our lives. It's not ",ideal", but it's better than abstinence
We're both 43, married almost 24 years; we have two kids, three dogs and a small business. In the midst of this we're building a new 3000 sf workshop entirely ourselves, from land clearing and dirt work to concrete, structural steel and an 800 amp service panel. *And still running the business out of another location simultaneously.... ***And a welding/machine shop is not exactly light work!
We're just busy!!!!
How is this related to "lazy sex"?
Well... I'm the high drive spouse and sexual intimacy is a great stress release for me; DW is the polar opposite and sex energizes her and she won't typically fall asleep immediately after (assuming it's traditional evening sex).
During these busy times (it seems to have lasted two+ years) she prefers to wait 5-7 days between her orgasms; mind you, they are epic and she experiences so many consecutive climaxes over 30-45 minutes that she is thrilled to wait until she can experience that same "sexual mountain top".
For me, however, she regularly offers AMAZING hand jobs and now slightly more frequent OS (perhaps weekly). In addition to that, virtually any time I would like PIV, she is frequently amicable. In the end, we are sometimes having some form of sexual connection 5-6 days per week. In "slow" weeks, it's still 2-3x per week.
She's working her tail off, so when she asks for what we both call a "lazy position", I'm absolutely honored to oblige. Her favorite is what we call "lazy side" and she lays on her right side and I enter from behind, while laying/spooning the same way. Depending on bodily proportions, this may not work for everyone, but it is a solid position for our "bodily geometry". In this position, she really cannot thrust, but she remains active by clenching her pelvic muscles and sometimes arching her hips back. I brush her hair, rub her back, neck and shoulders and we just talk, hang out and have a fun and relaxed connection; frequently our 70# lab mix is in bed at our feet. We can him "love dog" because he's frequently getting in the way, and I have to call him down to his doggo bed.
Anyway we like the "lazy side position", but if she's feeling the energy/inclination, or if I simply ask, she turns over on her back and I remain roughly where I was, but now she has free hands to massage my shaft, testicles or use her other hand to massage my abs or nipples. Though this is a fairly passive position for HER, it allows us to connect without her having to put in much work. When were having "lazy sex", I make sure I have brought the towels, lube and any extra pillows, as I try to relieve her of any additional work. I'll even fetch a hot towel to clean us up.
She returns the favor most Sunday mornings in a manner that makes the memory the work week temporarily disappear, so I'm thrilled to put in a little extra "work" when we connect during the week.
It's a season that will eventually pass, but she chooses not to deprive me despite the challenges presented. Our marriage and sex life is far from perfect, but we are going to make the best of it!