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Easy Sex

Self image, being intentional, sexual awakening, nudity, modesty limits, likes/dislikes, sex language
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DoveGrey
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by DoveGrey »

Beccaloo wrote: Sun Oct 31, 2021 5:43 pm
SLS wrote: Sun Oct 31, 2021 5:09 pm Clarification requested. Are you saying that having intercourse with no orgasm "costs less" than giving your husband a handjob?
I agree, intercourse with no orgasm is easier than a handjob or oral.
Vastly easier. Lube is a thing. Plus, if you can act excited (as has been suggested on these boards), it tends to go much faster than fellatio.

That may sound unfeeling, but I've said here before, I view this as a gift to him and I do get emotional satisfaction from that.
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ng95901
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by ng95901 »

footnassman wrote: Sun Oct 31, 2021 4:44 am Maybe couples have different definitions, but this is what my wife always calls "a quickie". She will sometimes approach and offer/ask me for one....or she will tell me when I approach her, that a "quickie" is all that she has in her. We like the pointed focus on the END result....which is highly pleasurable for both of us.
My wife and I have have the same arrangement. She'll approach me with an offer or ask for a specific activity which she knows will be gratifying and will leave her feeling just as satisfied afterwards. This practice has been a boon for our marriage and worked well when she transitioned to the primary breadwinner outside the home and was mentally exhausted after a tough day at the clinic. I think if the specific focus is more on the highly pleasurable aspect it works. And without going into our unique disposition too much, in our case, it does...
SeekingHer
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by SeekingHer »

While I would occasionally like our love making experiences to last longer & be more creative, I'm so thankful to have a wife who is willing to have sex more consistently & frequently like this, where we both orgasm quickly and simultaneously during IC the vast majority of the time - which works for us both.

If I had to choose one or the other, I would gladly take what we have! I ♥️ U @ SC 🌷😙
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26 NIV
Horseman1978
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Horseman1978 »

SeekingChange wrote: Sat Oct 30, 2021 12:43 pm Over on The Generous Husband, he talks about "Easy Sex". It is basically around when the husband is horny and the wife is tired.

Paul says, "The idea is you [the husband] do all the “work” and you make sure she gets to come. How that will look depends on her..."

And he closes with, "This is not the kind of sex anyone wants all the time, but it’s a good option when the other choice is no sex or leaving her frustrated doing something just for you. This is no-frills, you both come, and she does nothing sex. If it means more sex overall, it’s a win/win. Why not ask your wife if she thinks easy sex has a place in your life?"

Do you do this? Have you approached your spouse about it? Any thoughts on this idea or your experience with it?


For us, I believe it's been a life-saver, but I am sure he can get tired of it.
Great post!

I would wager that nearly half of our sexual connections could fall into the "lazy sex" category during times like this in our lives. It's not ",ideal", but it's better than abstinence ;)

We're both 43, married almost 24 years; we have two kids, three dogs and a small business. In the midst of this we're building a new 3000 sf workshop entirely ourselves, from land clearing and dirt work to concrete, structural steel and an 800 amp service panel. *And still running the business out of another location simultaneously.... ***And a welding/machine shop is not exactly light work!

We're just busy!!!!

How is this related to "lazy sex"?

Well... I'm the high drive spouse and sexual intimacy is a great stress release for me; DW is the polar opposite and sex energizes her and she won't typically fall asleep immediately after (assuming it's traditional evening sex).

During these busy times (it seems to have lasted two+ years) she prefers to wait 5-7 days between her orgasms; mind you, they are epic and she experiences so many consecutive climaxes over 30-45 minutes that she is thrilled to wait until she can experience that same "sexual mountain top".

For me, however, she regularly offers AMAZING hand jobs and now slightly more frequent OS (perhaps weekly). In addition to that, virtually any time I would like PIV, she is frequently amicable. In the end, we are sometimes having some form of sexual connection 5-6 days per week. In "slow" weeks, it's still 2-3x per week.

BUT....

She's working her tail off, so when she asks for what we both call a "lazy position", I'm absolutely honored to oblige. Her favorite is what we call "lazy side" and she lays on her right side and I enter from behind, while laying/spooning the same way. Depending on bodily proportions, this may not work for everyone, but it is a solid position for our "bodily geometry". In this position, she really cannot thrust, but she remains active by clenching her pelvic muscles and sometimes arching her hips back. I brush her hair, rub her back, neck and shoulders and we just talk, hang out and have a fun and relaxed connection; frequently our 70# lab mix is in bed at our feet. We can him "love dog" because he's frequently getting in the way, and I have to call him down to his doggo bed.

Anyway we like the "lazy side position", but if she's feeling the energy/inclination, or if I simply ask, she turns over on her back and I remain roughly where I was, but now she has free hands to massage my shaft, testicles or use her other hand to massage my abs or nipples. Though this is a fairly passive position for HER, it allows us to connect without her having to put in much work. When were having "lazy sex", I make sure I have brought the towels, lube and any extra pillows, as I try to relieve her of any additional work. I'll even fetch a hot towel to clean us up.

She returns the favor most Sunday mornings in a manner that makes the memory the work week temporarily disappear, so I'm thrilled to put in a little extra "work" when we connect during the week.

It's a season that will eventually pass, but she chooses not to deprive me despite the challenges presented. Our marriage and sex life is far from perfect, but we are going to make the best of it!

-Horseman1978-
Chris_C
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Chris_C »

If my wife is too tired, she will lay on her side and alternate between a HJ and BJ while my hands are all over her "behind". That often leads to a very good orgasm for me because I actually get to just sit back, relax, and enjoy 8-)
Ron
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Ron »

Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:29 am If my wife is too tired, she will lay on her side and alternate between a HJ and BJ while my hands are all over her "behind". That often leads to a very good orgasm for me because I actually get to just sit back, relax, and enjoy 8-)
My wife would never do that, too much work!
Chris_C
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Chris_C »

Ron wrote: Thu Nov 25, 2021 4:32 am
Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:29 am If my wife is too tired, she will lay on her side and alternate between a HJ and BJ while my hands are all over her "behind". That often leads to a very good orgasm for me because I actually get to just sit back, relax, and enjoy 8-)
My wife would never do that, too much work!
Sorry to hear.
Burban
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Burban »

Ron wrote: Thu Nov 25, 2021 4:32 am
Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:29 am If my wife is too tired, she will lay on her side and alternate between a HJ and BJ while my hands are all over her "behind". That often leads to a very good orgasm for me because I actually get to just sit back, relax, and enjoy 8-)
My wife would never do that, too much work!
This is why the shared article makes no sense to me. “Lazy sex” in the context of the article seems to refer to laziness on the part of the receiver, not the giver.

The only form of “lazy sex” my wife and I have engaged in is her laying on her stomach and me rubbing my penis between her butt cheeks (outercourse, not anal sex, we refer to it as “hot dog style”) and then cleaning up the mess. Literally no effort on her part because I pull down her panties, do the deed, clean up, and pull her panties back up.
Ron
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Ron »

That is awesome. We have done sex like that, but not in a long time.
Ron
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Re: Easy Sex

Post by Ron »

Chris_C wrote: Thu Nov 25, 2021 5:36 am
Ron wrote: Thu Nov 25, 2021 4:32 am
Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:29 am If my wife is too tired, she will lay on her side and alternate between a HJ and BJ while my hands are all over her "behind". That often leads to a very good orgasm for me because I actually get to just sit back, relax, and enjoy 8-)
My wife would never do that, too much work!
Sorry to hear.
If sex takes work, she isn't in to it. She never imitates or plans for sex etc.
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