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Frequency of sex

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SeekingChange
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by SeekingChange »

Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:46 am We have sex maybe 3-4 times per week on average, but am I the only one on here that could have sex EVERY NIGHT?
No, my husband desires it daily or more.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by Chris_C »

SeekingChange wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:49 am
Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:46 am We have sex maybe 3-4 times per week on average, but am I the only one on here that could have sex EVERY NIGHT?
No, my husband desires it daily or more.
Ha-ha, is that a good thing or bad thing for you?
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by Irnmyk »

Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:46 am We have sex maybe 3-4 times per week on average, but am I the only one on here that could have sex EVERY NIGHT?
No, not at all.

We have sex daily, and I wouldn't swear as to which one of us is the one that "desires it". (Some days, multiple times.)

When we read the book Radical Sex, (there is a thread in the book section) we didn't have to adjust a thing to conform to what they promoted.

As an aside, watching Family Feud one evening recently, a contestant, and a fairly attractive middle aged lady at that, introducing herself to Steve Harvey said in polite, but very non-ambiguous words that she and her husband had had sex every day for 24 years. Steve gives the camera this blank "what in the world am I going to do with that" look, and quickly changes the subject. I couldn't believe that he passed that one up.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by SeekingChange »

Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:44 am Ha-ha, is that a good thing or bad thing for you?
Depends on the season of life. We have learned to compromise.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by Doug »

I have a hard time thinking of my sex life in terms of frequency, since the root of the word is "frequent". Hard to give an accurate answer, but as a rule, somewhere between a week and 10 days. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but generally somewhere in that range.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by inquiring »

Fortunately we're at less than once a month so I don't have to worry about it.

An interesting question for me would be how often do you have to be criticized for her to be happy.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by MrMarried »

Chris_C wrote: Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:46 am We have sex maybe 3-4 times per week on average, but am I the only one on here that could have sex EVERY NIGHT?
I'd want to abstain from intercourse during periods, but otherwise, that definitely sounds good. I'm getting close to 50.

That was almost a reality for my and my wife in my 20's. Intercourse every 24 hours or so, usually afternoon right after I got home from work. That quickly turned into an afternoon handjob followed by afternoon intercourse with handjobs daily during her period. It dried up a bit during the very last stage of pregnancy and the aftermath of an international move, post-partum depression, etc. It took some time for the sex life to start up again at a much slower frequency that is less satisfying for me.

I don't feel like I could explode if I skip a night of sex now, and it takes a while for the vas deferens to fill to the point when it is hard to sleep, unlike when I was younger. Every other night is okay, but it is not always that frequent. But I would prefer every night.

What would be great is if my wife got totally horny and just sweetly coaxed sex out of me even if I wasn't really feeling it. I wouldn't mind an occasional experience of role reversal like that.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by CTim »

MrMarried wrote: Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:15 pm
What would be great is if my wife got totally horny and just sweetly coaxed sex out of me even if I wasn't really feeling it. I wouldn't mind an occasional experience of role reversal like that.
Says just about every husband married to a LD/responsive only wife. 😁😁

My wife has asked on occasion something like, "I thought you would be interested tonight"? I've tried several times to explain that I would be if she was. She can't seem to grasp the concept. :roll: Oh well, I'm thankful she's willing most of the time.
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by DoveGrey »

CTim wrote: Sun Nov 28, 2021 5:50 am
MrMarried wrote: Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:15 pm
What would be great is if my wife got totally horny and just sweetly coaxed sex out of me even if I wasn't really feeling it. I wouldn't mind an occasional experience of role reversal like that.
Says just about every husband married to a LD/responsive only wife. 😁😁

My wife has asked on occasion something like, "I thought you would be interested tonight"? I've tried several times to explain that I would be if she was. She can't seem to grasp the concept. :roll: Oh well, I'm thankful she's willing most of the time.
I have also been pondering on this post. CTim's wife is, I think, not alone in struggling with the concept. In general, men are so different than women in readiness for sex, but also in ability to perform. Sometimes I'm afraid to initiate because I worry it's been too soon. Especially during O week, when my desire is almost constant.

My questions for husbands are:

If the guy really isn't feeling it (refractory period, fatigue, etc.), isn't it physically impossible to perform? If so, does that matter? Is it just as good to make out or pleasure your wife without possibility of orgasm yourself?

If you aren't feeling it, what would it take on our part to get you there? What does "coaxing" involve for you?
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Re: Frequency of sex

Post by garyb »

For me, the “guy”, refractory period is mainly the inability or rather the difficultly in reaching another orgasm. At my ripe ole age of 60, that seems to be about 2 hours. So far, I haven’t had any issue in achieving subsequent erections just getting to the PONR.

As far as what “coaxing” would be needed, for me nothing other than a finger wag or suggestion be plenty. If I was dead dog tired, I can only recall a couple of times I’ve been too tired to want sex, I just offer a rain check like she does with me frequently.
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