06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

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SLS
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06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by SLS »

What are some unique challenges you and your spouse face in the MB and how do you mitigate or overcome such challenges?

For example my wife has been on Prozac for about a year and a half now to treat her OCD. One of the side effects is decreased sexual function (longer time needed for orgasm, less arousal and lubrication, etc.).

We have mitigated these issues by incorporating the vibrator much more than before to allow her to reach orgasm in a comfortable time period. We have also used much more artificial lubrication. Finally, when we experience issues with penetration and vaginal tightness I either finish at the point I can penetrate comfortably or have DW rub her vulva against me.
Last edited by SeekingChange on Wed Jun 22, 2022 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made sticky
Happily married to Serafina for 7 years. She is my Venus. ::luv2


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strawberryblonde
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by strawberryblonde »

I have a piece of medical equipment connected to me, which beeps, buzzes, or alarms at the most inopportune times. Or it gets ripped out or it stabs me or it's placed in exactly the wrong spot for good sex. We just deal with it. Surely there must be someone else on TMB with a similar gizmo. Maybe we're not unique, but I haven't seen it mentioned.
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Olorin
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by Olorin »

Like some others here, our challenge was DW could not orgasm through manual stimulation or PIV. It is a long story but after over 20 years of frustration and tears we began trying out various sex toys, and after lots of experimentation we found a wand that can more or less reliably give DW an orgasm.

It is a corded wand made by 'Body Wand', and it has deep, rumbly vibrations. In fact, this is just about the only wand that will work for DW, and believe me when I say we have tried many others. We currently have two of these wands, and one has been used so much that it needs some minor repair to the end where the cord enters the wand. As I write this, I am thinking maybe I probably need to get another back-up wand.

I regret waiting so long to try a vibrator, and recommend other couples facing this problem not hesitate to seek out this solution. Our marriage bed is infinitely better now that DW is able to have an orgasm.
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Love and Theft
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by Love and Theft »

One of our unique challenges is our political worldviews have diverged dramatically. I don't think it's a stretch to say that some of her views repulse me, and I think she feels the same about me. I think that impacts intimacy.
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GeorgeB
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by GeorgeB »

I'd say the unique challenge for us has been my size and making it work well in our marriage bed. We still have to make some adjustments even today, but especially when we were first married, it was a big adjustment.
C.S. Lewis on Sexuality and Heaven: "Neither men nor women will be asked to throw away weapons they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throw away their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them."
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by Plumpurple »

For us it's that I have the higher drive as the wife rather than my husband being interested more often. So I am more often the initiator, more often turned down, more often instigating the conversations about sex, and more interested in "adventurous" activities.

Maybe some of the other higher drive wives will chime in on how this affects your relationship dynamic 😁
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benny
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by benny »

Plumpurple wrote:For us it's that I have the higher drive as the wife rather than my husband being interested more often. So I am more often the initiator, more often turned down, more often instigating the conversations about sex, and more interested in "adventurous" activities.

Maybe some of the other higher drive wives will chime in on how this affects your relationship dynamic Image
I do believe it's a low drive spouse vs high drive spouse issue rather than a wife vs husband. Many times women get a bad rap on this issue. I feel like women are able to re-channel their sexual energy better than men so we don't hear their side a much. I do understand that hormones as well as physical requirements play a role too for women, but how much? Lastly men can be overbearing too which I'm sure can play a role while most women strike me as being more passive and less confrontational regarding sexual needs. I might be completely off base here but I do wonder about such things and how my DW has perceived my advances.

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Tracking Mill Bench
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Re: 06/22/2022 - Unique Challenges?

Post by Tracking Mill Bench »

Implementing now what I should have known to do previously.
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