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03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

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SLS
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03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by SLS »

How do you and your spouse divy up household responsibilities? (i.e., Cooking, cleaning, finances, grocery shopping, etc.)
Last edited by SeekingChange on Wed Mar 17, 2021 6:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made sticky
Happily married to Serafina for 6.75 years. She is my Venus. ::luv2


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Happily married
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Happily married »

How do you and your spouse divy up household responsibilities? (i.e., Cooking, cleaning, finances, grocery shopping, etc.)
I wouldn't say household responsibilities are divvied up per se, it's more like who can do them when they need to be done. While she does the bulk of the cooking (she is the much better cook and enjoys it), if there is a night she will be working a bit late, I'll put something together so that it's ready when she walks in the door. Otherwise, dinner might not be until around 8. I generally do the dishes and most of the shopping. She doesn't like to shop. We both do laundry, making the bed, vacuuming. She does most of the dusting. She does the bill paying and I do the yard work, change the oil. We do what we can to support each other. We don't have any assigned roles.
LovingHimAlways
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by LovingHimAlways »

We are pretty traditional. I do most of the cooking and inside cleaning. Dh does the grilling and outside chores. We discuss finances and I do the actual bill paying each pay period. Since the pandemic we have been getting our groceries online. I do the ordering and we both go each weekend and pick them up.

One of our adult children is moving back home for a while so she will probably take on some of the cooking/cleaning responsibilities as well as her own laundry.
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Irnmyk »

When we brought her home (she worked early on before we had kids, and after our having discovered that her transportation, clothes, make-up etc., ate up most of her disposable earnings - plus that her income drove mine into higher tax brackets at that) and the agreement was that I would be the breadwinner and she would take care of the household as well as be a stay-at-home Mom.

She pays the bills since I traveled most of my working life, and that presented some problems with my making the payments regularly, but I fund her for that.

She also does all the outside work, gardening, flowers, weeding, etc. We have a service that does the basic yard work. That's not work for her, that's more like hobby. I do the heavy lifting (fertilizer sacks, building flower beds, etc.) for her outside when she needs it. That again developed out of the fact that my travel didn't allow me to do that regularly - what if it rained on my days home? The yard didn't get mowed.

While the laundry, dishes, cooking, etc., is all within her domain, I help as I can. I cook my own breakfast. She would, but I'm pretty independent, so I just took it upon myself to do that many years ago, and she won't take it back now.

I like doing things like helping her make the bed or work the laundry, take out the trash, etc., because it gets me quality time with her, and quality points from her, so when I can I do - which may be out of selfish motives, huh?

I do the repairs, inside and outside. She does have some of her own tools inside, developed when I formerly traveled, and she gets real testy when I'm working on some project and want to borrow her tools.

I did have a mantra (before we got the lawn service) that "a man that won't fix his wife's lawnmower is a real crud".
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Sugarpie42 »

I do most of the cleaning. DH helps when he needs too but typically i take on the household chores. DH takes care of the yards and farm animals. He also takes care of our finances. I do most of the cooking and all the laundry. We are really good to help each other when needed.
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Lookin2Him »

I think we do a good job of splitting up things based on our skills. We live in the country, so there are a lot of inside and outside stuff to do.

DW gardens a lot, but I prepare the ground (tilling, manure, etc) for her in the spring and fall. She likes to mow, as do I, but she does it more than me. Plus she trims the weeds. (We mow about 2 acres of yard and fruit tree area.) She cooks because I just can't, we'd starve or eat boxed stuff all the time. She cleans the house and cares for our pets.

I (DH) do the majority of the finances. Fix household things and minor vehicle repairs. Cut and prepare our winter's firewood. I do the laundry most of the time because I seem to be better at it. (Even she admits it.) In the winter I plow the drive and shovel the walk. I burn paper and carry out the trash on the pick up day.

We compliment each other well in this regard. If either of us is having a busy week, we just pick up the others burdens.
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by HerKnight »

Lookin2Him wrote: Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:39 pm I think we do a good job of splitting up things based on our skills. ... We compliment each other well in this regard. If either of us is having a busy week, we just pick up the others burdens.
We likewise have focused on the things we enjoy and do well. DW loves to cook and I love to complement and compliment by cleaning up. We will pitch in to help each other wherever there is a need.
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Duchess »

When I was working, we aimed to divide things up pretty equally and along average lines; we had some specifics like I would load the dishwasher and he would unload it, and while I generally did the laundry, he was in charge of a few specific loads. For some dumb reason we put me in charge of finances. Not sure DH would be a whole lot better at it, but I have been really bad at paper work and filing and record keeping. If ever we were to bring a third person into our marriage, THIS would be the place to do it!! ::rofl ::rofl
Now that I am finally a homemaker, in my late 40s, I'm kind of set in the habit of sharing duties, even though mentally, I know that I should be taking more on. I also struggle with physical challenges that leave me incapacitated about as much of the time as a part time job, if not more. BUT: I've been trying really hard to learn the art of old-fashioned homemaking (with a renewed effort lately as a concerted effort to serve my DH in his love language, acts of service) and I've gotten really excited about some outside projects that should mean less outside work for him in the long-run. I just keep running out of energy before I run out of list. :roll: So for now, he is still helping a lot, but I hope to get to the point where he pretty much only does the mowing, major maintenance, and heavy lifting. And pitch in with the paperwork!! ::rofl
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by WirelessRouter »

Happily married wrote: Wed Mar 17, 2021 11:52 am How do you and your spouse divy up household responsibilities? (i.e., Cooking, cleaning, finances, grocery shopping, etc.)
I wouldn't say household responsibilities are divvied up per se, it's more like who can do them when they need to be done. ...
...
We do what we can to support each other. We don't have any assigned roles.
I just want to jump in this thread and say this ↑ right here is what I want. I've been doing my own laundry, cooking my own food, washing my own dishes, cleaning my own bathroom, mowing my own lawn, and ect. for so long that I don't care if I keep having to do any of that in the future. None of it is that bad. I just want a partner to do it with.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Re: 03/17/2021 - Household Responsibilities?

Post by Graypoet »

We have always shared household duties and responsibilities. I have always cared for financial matters, paying bills, saving and making investment decisions for retirement. Since the covid crisis began, I have been doing all of the grocery shopping. We often take turns cooking and dish washing. We both love being outside gardening together.
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2
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