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FIRST POST IN THREAD
- King bed
- Posts: 535
- Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
- Location: SC, USA, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way
Reason: Made sticky
END FIRST POST
I wouldn't say household responsibilities are divvied up per se, it's more like who can do them when they need to be done. While she does the bulk of the cooking (she is the much better cook and enjoys it), if there is a night she will be working a bit late, I'll put something together so that it's ready when she walks in the door. Otherwise, dinner might not be until around 8. I generally do the dishes and most of the shopping. She doesn't like to shop. We both do laundry, making the bed, vacuuming. She does most of the dusting. She does the bill paying and I do the yard work, change the oil. We do what we can to support each other. We don't have any assigned roles.
One of our adult children is moving back home for a while so she will probably take on some of the cooking/cleaning responsibilities as well as her own laundry.
She pays the bills since I traveled most of my working life, and that presented some problems with my making the payments regularly, but I fund her for that.
She also does all the outside work, gardening, flowers, weeding, etc. We have a service that does the basic yard work. That's not work for her, that's more like hobby. I do the heavy lifting (fertilizer sacks, building flower beds, etc.) for her outside when she needs it. That again developed out of the fact that my travel didn't allow me to do that regularly - what if it rained on my days home? The yard didn't get mowed.
While the laundry, dishes, cooking, etc., is all within her domain, I help as I can. I cook my own breakfast. She would, but I'm pretty independent, so I just took it upon myself to do that many years ago, and she won't take it back now.
I like doing things like helping her make the bed or work the laundry, take out the trash, etc., because it gets me quality time with her, and quality points from her, so when I can I do - which may be out of selfish motives, huh?
I do the repairs, inside and outside. She does have some of her own tools inside, developed when I formerly traveled, and she gets real testy when I'm working on some project and want to borrow her tools.
I did have a mantra (before we got the lawn service) that "a man that won't fix his wife's lawnmower is a real crud".
DW gardens a lot, but I prepare the ground (tilling, manure, etc) for her in the spring and fall. She likes to mow, as do I, but she does it more than me. Plus she trims the weeds. (We mow about 2 acres of yard and fruit tree area.) She cooks because I just can't, we'd starve or eat boxed stuff all the time. She cleans the house and cares for our pets.
I (DH) do the majority of the finances. Fix household things and minor vehicle repairs. Cut and prepare our winter's firewood. I do the laundry most of the time because I seem to be better at it. (Even she admits it.) In the winter I plow the drive and shovel the walk. I burn paper and carry out the trash on the pick up day.
We compliment each other well in this regard. If either of us is having a busy week, we just pick up the others burdens.
We likewise have focused on the things we enjoy and do well. DW loves to cook and I love to complement and compliment by cleaning up. We will pitch in to help each other wherever there is a need.
Now that I am finally a homemaker, in my late 40s, I'm kind of set in the habit of sharing duties, even though mentally, I know that I should be taking more on. I also struggle with physical challenges that leave me incapacitated about as much of the time as a part time job, if not more. BUT: I've been trying really hard to learn the art of old-fashioned homemaking (with a renewed effort lately as a concerted effort to serve my DH in his love language, acts of service) and I've gotten really excited about some outside projects that should mean less outside work for him in the long-run. I just keep running out of energy before I run out of list. So for now, he is still helping a lot, but I hope to get to the point where he pretty much only does the mowing, major maintenance, and heavy lifting. And pitch in with the paperwork!!
- Queen bed
- Posts: 112
- Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
- Location: Near the 45th parallel
I just want to jump in this thread and say this ↑ right here is what I want. I've been doing my own laundry, cooking my own food, washing my own dishes, cleaning my own bathroom, mowing my own lawn, and ect. for so long that I don't care if I keep having to do any of that in the future. None of it is that bad. I just want a partner to do it with.Happily married wrote: ↑Wed Mar 17, 2021 11:52 am How do you and your spouse divy up household responsibilities? (i.e., Cooking, cleaning, finances, grocery shopping, etc.)
I wouldn't say household responsibilities are divvied up per se, it's more like who can do them when they need to be done. ...
We do what we can to support each other. We don't have any assigned roles.