Special Groups

We have sections you must join to use. You can see the full list here. Most you can join with a click. The medical and pastoral groups require approval.
Note, some groups were not accepting new members properly. That is fixed.

A question for husbands about giving OS

Use of mouth on each other for foreplay or climax.
Forum rules
Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
Irnmyk
California King
California King
Posts: 630
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by Irnmyk »

@Lorelei,

Referring to the questions in the OP, I am one of those husbands that had to become willing to give OS. As a product of my upbringing and some of my professional training, I am somewhat of a germ-o-phobe.

The first time I went down on DW, I thought I might get slapped over the deal since we both came out of a very conservative religious background - the "if it is pleasurable, it must be wrong" type of background.

As I stated several posts above, first time we did it, after she finished, having had one of the most spectacular "O"s that I had ever seen her have, (and she O's regularly and readily and they are wall rattling mostly) the first words that came out of her mouth stunned me. I won't repeat them for anonymity reasons, but will just state that they were affirmation in the most absolute of terms.

So, germophobe me, I, knowing that we had started down a path that we could never retreat from, went out and bought a bottle of Listerine - I must have expected to go there a lot, because I bought the biggest bottle they have. Well, after a bit, that went by the way and that bottle has remained in the cabinet, mostly full, and unused for I don't know how long now. (I suppose she hasn't trashed it - I don't know.)

To be fair to me, she had some things to overcome too. Initially, she wouldn't kiss me afterward until i "listerined", but after a bit, she made a crossover in her mind so that, not only is kissing immediately afterward no longer a problem, she often gives me OS after I've been engaged in PIV.

I said all that to say that we didn't get where we are - and we are able to go there anytime it seems like the right path to take - overnight.

I hope that some of what I have related will be of some benefit for you and your DH.
User avatar
Link+Zelda
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2226
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 6:16 pm
Location: North America

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by Link+Zelda »

Lorelei wrote: Sat Apr 10, 2021 10:39 am I do really enjoy giving OS to him, have gotten pretty good at it, and he *loves* it. It doesn’t go both ways tho, as much as I crave it and think I’d love it. I don’t know why he doesn’t, but I’m hopeful that it won’t always be this way.
Lorelei, have you asked him why he doesn't give you cunnilingus? Have you specifically requested it? If it's a flavor/smell thing, have you requested that you two try some aid to get past that (e.g. flavored lube or a dental dam)?

He simply could be under the (mistaken) impression that you're not interested in receiving it unless you've made your desire very clear. Once you have communicated it, he should be taking your pleasure seriously and not be depriving you (note that I personally read 1 Cor 7 as being about sex in general and not specific acts, though at some point refusal to work on this would be depriving in my opinion...not sure where that line is).
-Link+Zelda
User avatar
hastentheday
King bed
King bed
Posts: 384
Joined: Mon Feb 01, 2021 7:33 pm

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by hastentheday »

Lorelei wrote: Sat Apr 10, 2021 10:39 am This isn’t answering the original question, but this is one of those threads that can be hard to read. I’m glad there are husbands eager to give but that’s not my experience. Due to current ED issues we rarely are able to do PIV right now so BJs to completion are the default for us. I do really enjoy giving OS to him, have gotten pretty good at it, and he *loves* it. It doesn’t go both ways tho, as much as I crave it and think I’d love it. I don’t know why he doesn’t, but I’m hopeful that it won’t always be this way.
@Lorelei,
I agree with @Link+Zelda here. The only way to find out why he doesn't do something you crave is to ask him as hard as that might be for you to do.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Lorelei
Queen bed
Queen bed
Posts: 138
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:09 pm

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by Lorelei »

Thanks, L, L+Z and H - I was thinking about this after I posted and realized it made him sound selfish or oblivious. He is certainly not selfish and likely not oblivious either.

I need to gather my thoughts (and reread old posts) and start a thread on sex and mental health. The short answer, for this discussion, is that he struggles with severe depression and anxiety and has for our entire marriage, although in varying degrees. He had a nervous breakdown in the last year and is only just recently and tenuously beginning to be back above water.

I didn’t mean to highjack this thread and will start another some time soon. This sort of challenge and encouragement is what I appreciate about this forum, however. Thank you.
Lorelei
Graypoet
Queen bed
Queen bed
Posts: 231
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: The Midwest

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by Graypoet »

My answers to the post are as follows...
Are there husbands out there who had to get willing to bless their wife this way? Answer: Definitely willing on my part.
What is/was your aversion to it? Answer:None
How did you get over it, or haven't you, yet? Answer: N/A
Did your wife ask you to do it, or it was something you wanted to bless her with, and you worked on it until you were able to start?
Answer: It was something that we both decided to try.

This activity occurred early in our relationship, and we just stopped. I found her taste and smell a major turn on. I need to convince her to let me try it again.
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2
bandaddie
Queen bed
Queen bed
Posts: 136
Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2021 1:16 pm

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by bandaddie »

Q: Are there husbands out there who had to get willing to bless their wife this way?
A: I do not understand the meaning of your phrase "get willing."
Our first time; It was not planned. It simply happened. I slowly worked my way down from her lips, to her neck, to her breasts and so forth.
Until this moment, she had no experience with oral sex, and precious little knowledge of the possibility of cunnilingus.
She states she was surprised, joyfully so, and pleased I had such a close, intimate desire for her.
I brought her to orgasm this way, quickly switched to vaginal sex and she had two more orgasms.
It was not my first time to perform it. It was, however, my first time to perform it with such outstandingly positive results. She told me it was pleasure beyond any expectations. For me, it was pleasure above and beyond any past experiences.

Q: What is/was your aversion to it?
A: At no time did I have aversion to it. I was presented with no cause for aversion so I do not understand the reason for this question.

Q: How did you get over it, or haven't you, yet?
A: for me, this is a non-sense question

Q: Did your wife ask you to do it, or it was something you wanted to bless her with, and you worked on it until you were able to start?
A: It was spontaneous. She did not ask because she had no knowledge of it. I married a true virgin.

Q: How did your wife feel about you not doing it? Did she feel it was her fault?
A: Again, a non-sense question. Neither of us have ever withheld pleasure from the other. We consider such withholding a sin.
Last edited by bandaddie on Fri Jul 02, 2021 4:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
olafthewise
California King
California King
Posts: 597
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: S. Cal

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by olafthewise »

Assumptions;
1st assumption is that this forum has few men who perform/desire/are asked to do oral on her/
2nd assumption is that this forum is a scientific one in which polls or just opinions you read here, are conclusive or close to conclusive for the married sexual habits of most couples in the world/U.S./Canada, etc.
3rd assumption is that everyone here has been married for similar time. One guy said he's been married 34 years, Ive got 36 years in. Some here are reasonably young and have bodies that are still horny or at least sexually able to perform normally.
My conclusion or answer to the question;
I asked to perform oral on her because she cannot do PIV due to mysterious pain. (she quit hormone creams due to headaches.) So in my sexual frustration with HJ that hurts her shoulder, she asked what I like. I requested oral on her. Well upon first contact, she giggled and laughed and said she was too sensitive. I gave up.
So truth is she has less desire for sex and blames me.
firefly
Single
Single
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: South
Contact:

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by firefly »

Are there husbands out there who had to get willing to bless their wife this way?
Did not give it much thought the first 20 years, we were happy to have skin to skin contact and sex, then started the second 20. We decided we needed a little more adventure.
What is/was your aversion to it?
No aversion at all, our warped sense of sex from a religious point, we never contemplated it.
How did you get over it, or haven't you, yet?
We got into oral sex by reading good marriage books and much prayer.
Did your wife ask you to do it, or it was something you wanted to bless her with, and you worked on it until you were able to start?
I truly wanted to bless her this way once we wanted more. I would suggest it, wait a few days, sometimes weeks, then prompt her again to allow me opportunity. Once I went down on her, she orgasmed in seconds, and still does so. She asks for it about once a week now. I on the other hand, would do it for her daily and multiple times if she asked.
How did your wife feel about you not doing it? Did she feel it was her fault?
For years we did not know it was okay to bless one another through oral sex. We thought the good books we read were just a little "bent" in that area of sex. Being in a very conservative church, oral sex was "taboo". As we aged and read more, searched the scriptures, we realized how much God had to say about sex and sexual things. Good or bad, the Lord revealed it all. With this knowledge, we advanced to oral sex on her quite often.
Irnmyk
California King
California King
Posts: 630
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by Irnmyk »

firefly wrote: Fri Jul 02, 2021 9:41 am Are there husbands out there who had to get willing to bless their wife this way?
Did not give it much thought the first 20 years, we were happy to have skin to skin contact and sex, then started the second 20. We decided we needed a little more adventure.
What is/was your aversion to it?
No aversion at all, our warped sense of sex from a religious point, we never contemplated it.
How did you get over it, or haven't you, yet?
We got into oral sex by reading good marriage books and much prayer.
Did your wife ask you to do it, or it was something you wanted to bless her with, and you worked on it until you were able to start?
I truly wanted to bless her this way once we wanted more. I would suggest it, wait a few days, sometimes weeks, then prompt her again to allow me opportunity. Once I went down on her, she orgasmed in seconds, and still does so. She asks for it about once a week now. I on the other hand, would do it for her daily and multiple times if she asked.
How did your wife feel about you not doing it? Did she feel it was her fault?
For years we did not know it was okay to bless one another through oral sex. We thought the good books we read were just a little "bent" in that area of sex. Being in a very conservative church, oral sex was "taboo". As we aged and read more, searched the scriptures, we realized how much God had to say about sex and sexual things. Good or bad, the Lord revealed it all. With this knowledge, we advanced to oral sex on her quite often.
@firefly,

I don't generally quote a whole post, but yours hit me so hard I had to. I almost want to go to an earlier post of mine and just copy and paste yours in - you said it so well as pertains to our journey.

I'd have to change the time - we were WAY more than 20 years getting there - kudos to you for getting there sooner - and it was TMB mostly that "opened the door" for us when we were ready to start seeking out information about it.

So, thanks @PaulB and the others that make this site possible.
happywife90
Single
Single
Posts: 19
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: A question for husbands about giving OS

Post by happywife90 »

Lorelei wrote: Sat Apr 10, 2021 10:39 am This isn’t answering the original question, but this is one of those threads that can be hard to read. I’m glad there are husbands eager to give but that’s not my experience. Due to current ED issues we rarely are able to do PIV right now so BJs to completion are the default for us. I do really enjoy giving OS to him, have gotten pretty good at it, and he *loves* it. It doesn’t go both ways tho, as much as I crave it and think I’d love it. I don’t know why he doesn’t, but I’m hopeful that it won’t always be this way.
Yep.
Post Reply

Return to “Oral Sex”