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This may help to explain why many husbands want deepthroat. It also may explain why some husbands sometimes thrust themselves deeper or push his wife's head during fellatio. HUSBANDS, DON'T EVER DO THIS!!!!! (there are many psychological, physical and physiological reasons for avoiding this behavior). I suspect that many husbands won't directly ask their wives to deepthroat them because (1) they don't think that it is possible for their wives to do it and (2) they don't want to come across ungrateful or risk upsetting their wives about something that they already appreciate dearly.
Yes, to all of this...espec the laying on back, head tilted back off of the bed...blessed is what I feel, too...I realize it isnt for all, isnt possible for all, isnt desired by all....I would imagine some would read his words "I push her on it, grab her hair and just enjoy the act" and assign negative views of it...but the words that follow "it is about mutual respect, love and having great communication and trust" reveal the essential elements...at least in our marital oral play...TxGuy wrote: ↑Mon Oct 11, 2021 8:49 pm I’m extremely blessed by DW in this area. She is very willing and able to deepthroat. We don’t get caught up in what other people think about aspects of oral sex. We do what we do. That includes being very vigorous when she’s performing. I push her on it, grab her hair and just enjoy the act. It is about a mutual respect, love and having great communication and trust. Laying on her back with head tilted over the edge of the bed is good to start with.
Thank you for that post. Succinctly stating your experiences and truth. Ours is essentially the same.
Reason: Fixed quoting issue
Yes, virtually anyone can do this, even those with a strong gag reflex. I am the DH but I am also an expert on this subject, particularly with gag reflex suppression.
When my DW and I first married, 11 years ago, we tried fellatio - and it was indeed fantastic! I bought some books about oral sex which also described deepthroat and how to train for it. I thought I might want that, but I respect her enormously, so I first tried the training exercises myself. I was horrified to discover that I have a highly sensitive gag reflex and could not possibly do it. I gagged and nearly vomited many times. I read more about it and kept finding the same two kinds of training methods (using a toothbrush or a phallic shaped device). So I tried harder and kept finding it impossible. I would never dare ask my DW to do that! After searching the web, I saw that this is a pervasive problem. I am a research scientist, engineer with a master's degree with decades of research experience so I decided to research this more on my own. I have since been doing part time research on this, now for about a decade (referencing hundreds of dental, medical & psychology journals... and using myself as the first test subject). I eventually discovered a way to train for fellatio acclimation at any depth (including full depth) while experiencing little or no gagging in the training process. So yes, it is definitely possible to do this. I filed a patent with the USPTO last year (patent pending) on this device/method for fellatio acclimation. I believe virtually anyone can successfully do this - using the proper training device and methods. My DW and I are now writing the most comprehensive book on fellatio training (written as Christian friendly... since that is what we are). One should ideally use the product that we are developing since it is optimized for this - but that is probably more than a year away. One can still successfully train for fellatio without it - It just might be a little more challenging. Here are just a few tips for wives: don't use the toothbrush method (the stimulus is extremely aversive and it is very difficult to precisely control). It is probably not practical to solely use actual fellatio to train for fellatio. You can train with a small diameter, smooth, flexible, phallic shaped device. (never train with food!) Train daily (e.g. 15 minutes/day) at a shallow (somewhat easy) depth - at precisely the same depth until you acclimate to it. Then increase depth, by only a millimeter or two for another day or so. You'll experience some discomfort as you increase depth but you'll eventually acclimate to it. Continue practicing daily and gradually increase depth more and more. Keep doing this until you reach the desired depth (it may take you month or more). Don't be too aggressive, causing yourself to gag. Go slow, yet be persistent. Enlist your DH's support. It is essential that you be optimistic about this. Yes, you really can do this. There is so much that could be written (e.g. breathing, movement, relaxation, physiology, psychology, etc.) but I don't have the space here. Reference "systematic desensitization", "errorless learning", "gag reflex" and "gag suppression" using Google Scholar to get some authoritative clues about the science behind this. I believe that the psychological aspects are more important than the physical aspects. Sadly, I am unaware of any books or websites that thoroughly describe how this can be done in a tolerable way, particularly when one has a sensitive gag reflex. Most reference a few simple tricks but they don't provide adequate details. Note also, this method is safe and natural - you won't completely suppress your gag reflex - you will however acclimate to fellatio. That's an important distinction. Note also that approximately 1/3 of healthy people do not have a gag reflex, which may explain why some women don't seem have much of a problem doing it.