First time vibrator advice

[Beaglebag]

So I just talked with DH and he agreed to try a vibrator! Back story: I
I have never had an O that I know of. We've been trying and I'm enjoying it more, but it's 95% PIV. Any tips? I sent him the marriage dance link and hopefully he finds something he likes, though likely it will be up to me. There are a lot of choices, though! Has anyone tried the pilot program? That looks like a great option for us. Or is there a particular type we should try first?

[SLS]

This is the one DW and I would recommend. It is simple, discreet, east to maintain, and works very well.

https://marrieddance.com/shop/vibrators ... -vibrator/

Unfortunately it seems it is out of stock on Married Dance.

[Link+Zelda]

@Beaglebag, I am so glad to see you post this thread! I feel like it's slowly been building up to this for a long time.

I think the most common starting point recommended for newbies to vibes is the bullet vibrator. This is external only, small, relatively inexpensive, and usually quite effective on the clitoris. @SLS mentioned one that works for them, and another one that's very similar to that one is the We-Vibe Tango X. The pilot program you mentioned also falls into the category of bullet vibes and is a great place to start given its low-cost and risk-free nature. However, that vibe isn't a high-end product and may not give the best results.

With vibes, each person is different. For traditional clitoral vibrators, some like buzzy, but most like rumbly (maybe 75%+ of women). Some like focused, some like diffuse. Some like weak/moderate, while some like tons of power. Beyond that, some don't like "traditional" vibes and instead like the pressure-based stimulators (of which there's a wide intensity range), and others like G-spot/internal vibrators...and the Eroscillator is yet another thing some like. And there are women that like all the above! Cost is certainly an issue when trying these things out.

I know I've read that a good first-time vibrator is one that has a wide range of intensities so that you can establish a baseline of what you like, then go from there if the first one doesn't work that well.

And of course, I have tons of links for you (and other interested parties) to read if desired. First, threads from TMB:
Suggestions - How to use vibrator?
Question for the ladies----Favorite Vibrators
Introduction of Sex Toys
My (wife’s) first vibrator. Recommendations?
Top Non Dildo or Shaft Vibrator Toy?

And external links:
Vibe Her To Orgasm (TGH)
When She Struggles to Orgasm (TGH)
Rock Her World with a Vibrator (TGH)
A Vibrator? She Might Say Yes! (TGH)
Let’s Talk About Good Vibrations (XY Code)
Shake Up Sex (XY Code)

[Beaglebag]

I was wondering how couples knew what intensities/speeds work the best and just how much money we would have to spend figuring that out. So having one with variable speeds sounds like a good start. And we are trying to invest more time and money into our marriage in general, so the cost isn't necessarily a bad thing. But wanting to be wise with our purchases, too. Looks like I have a lot of reading to to!

[Olorin]

Link has done his usual thorough job in responding to your question.

I would add that in In addition to exploring the type of vibrator/vibration you find stimulating (clitoral, g-spot, buzzy, rumbly, etc..), you should explore various positions. For example, my DW prefers a wand vibrator (we use a corded model by Body Wand) and most easily has an orgasm when she is laying on top of it. As for intensity, DW prefers the lowest setting (it has a thumb-wheel that adjusts the strength).

Best of luck on your search!

[Ron]

A simple bullet vibrator works well, wife used one for many years. Also, a wand vibrator is good if you need more powerful vibrations. My wife does not like one that part of it fits inside too, like a Wevibe. Gets in the way for PIV sex.

[proverbs519man]

I am not sure what you mean by 95% PIV? Have you not tried manual or oral stimulation?

One thing you could try is just one of the vibrating rings they sell with condoms. Those are easy to get and while they may not send you to the moon, is a good way to dip your toes into that sort of stimulation. Tend to be cheap too.

[MiddleMan]

The wife and sat and looked at Married Dance together and picked one. We got an insertable shaft style but I wish we had gotten a rabbit type. We now have a wand with an attachment for inserting. They have that at Married Dance as well. She does not care for the bullet type. Unfortunately, you just have to try some out, and they tend not to be cheap, and then what do you do with the ones that dont' fit what you are looking for? Take them to church to give to your friends? Nope. However, don't buy cheap ones either. The penis ring with built-in vibrator might me a good low cost start, as someone suggested.

[Beaglebag]

I am not sure what you mean by 95% PIV? Have you not tried manual or oral stimulation?

DH has tried manual stimulation one time and while he is very interested in my giving him OS, is not interested in giving me OS.

[benny]

I also recommend getting a magic wand type to try first. It great for clitoral orgasms and can double for body massages too. Not all women like a penetration type vibrators, I know they did nothing for my DW. They magic wand has attachments for g-spots that will let you explore other sensations relatively inexpensive. Then once you find out what you like you can buy a more specific type that hits that special spot.

We use the satisfyer pro but it's a strong clitoris sucking vib but people some feel it's too strong. Good luck on this enlightening journey and enjoy the exploration.