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Keeping Things Fresh

Games, lingerie, toys, taking photos, stripteases, fantasy, role-playing, bedroom ambience and sex outside of the bedroom (not overly public places).
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Beccaloo
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Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Beccaloo »

When I was newly married, I wondered what the future would look like.
I worried that sex would become boring and mundane one day and truly tried to get as much of the good stuff while I could. This also lead me to be thinking of what I can do to try to keep things interesting and fresh?

Now 20+ years later I'm pleasantly surprised when I find something new without really meaning to.
From the simple change a new oil can make to deciding to be more direct and take a trip to the lingerie store. These things can bring new life into a MB.

So my question today is:

1) Where do you get the inspiration for something new when you feel like you're heading towards a rut?

2) What part, if any, has this community played in that?
Last edited by Beccaloo on Fri May 07, 2021 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Beccaloo
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Beccaloo »

1) Where do you get the inspiration for something new when you feel like you're heading towards a rut?

2) What part, if any, has this community played in that?
To answer my own post:
1- I try to think back to different things that I've enjoyed in the past but that seem to have been retired. I also try to remember what i might not have fully enjoyed in the past to see if it might be more pleasing now. It makes me more confident to reintroduce it since it was probably originally something my DH had tried so I don't need to be concerned that he wouldn't be open to it.

2- I find this community to be a great resource in both ideas and just the knowledge that I'm not a crazy freak. ::al

The posts on LED lights had me buying a string after seeing how cheap they are and so many positive reviews on here.
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Olorin
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Olorin »

So, I find that at one level, having sex with my DW is amazing, even after 30 years, and even though our set of activities has not changed much over the last 10 years or so. For me, there is something that is still exhilarating being sexual with my wife; seeing her naked, feeling her close to me, etc.

On the other hand, we are trying to incorporate some new activities (OS, new positions, etc.) , though progress is slower than I would like. One reason for this is given that it took over 20 years or so for her to learn how to orgasm, I want to make sure we maximize the pleasure she has when we have sex, and my DW is a creature of habit and seems happy with the routine we use for bringing her to orgasm, so I am not pushing too hard for changes.

@Beccaloo - As you probably know, I am a big fan of LED's and have enjoyed the atmosphere they have created in our bedroom; I especially like playing with the various lighting patterns; at this time I have them set to slowly change colors...it is really cool!!!!!!
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hastentheday
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by hastentheday »

Beccaloo wrote: Fri May 07, 2021 9:04 pm
1) Where do you get the inspiration for something new when you feel like you're heading towards a rut?
  • Date night Thursdays, love these!
  • Doing church together, teaching sunday school, etc.
  • Doing a special project together such as landscaping or planting garden, flowers or pots
  • Going on a getaway, camping or seeing a part of the country we haven't explored
  • Shopping together for that special antique item
  • Cuddle and laugh together while watching Hallmark movies
  • Work out together or hike or bike somewhere together
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Ron
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Ron »

My wife has always stayed in the rut with no indication she wants out of it. If we do anything new, it is ALWAYS me or my suggestion and she goes along. She rarely initiates anything sexual or buys anything sexy looking. She likes her sex toys, but I bought every single one of them.
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benny
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by benny »

) Where do you get the inspiration for something new when you feel like you're heading towards a rut?

This has been a constant challenge for me. I'm all about keeping things fresh and exciting however Mr DW is not. I struggle with being satisfied often and get discouraged with hearing "no" don't do that or I don't want to. At my lowest point many years ago I turned to porn trying to find something to fill the void I felt. That left it's mark on me. In the last few years her boundaries have expanded a lot and things are getting better. The best inspiration is to get out of our comfort zone, do something new or re-do something daring we did before. Have fun with sex and don't get hung up on what's proper in society.

2) What part, if any, has this community played in that?

This site has opened my eyes to understanding my DW, hearing from your experiences has taught me that what I feel is normal and what my DW feels is normal too. It's given me hope and tools to help us work through some things and grow closer. For that I'm great full. You never know how sharing thoughts or experiences will help someone else.

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SeekingChange
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by SeekingChange »

For me, I don't know that I have ever gone looking for something new to do intentionally. What I have done intentionally is try to keep sex at the forefront of my mind, and in doing that, It seems I see or hear of something, and then I might decide to try it. What I have sought out, after an idea comes to me, is the "how to's".... things like, how to create red lighting, or how to pull off a strip tease, etc. TMB has been a huge part of that, because if nothing else, they share helpful links or advice, but I have gone to the world wide web, in general (blogs, articles, youtube, etc), as well. TMB has been what keeps me thinking and talking sex, otherwise I would easily get wrapped into the craziness and busyness of life outside of the bedroom.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Oldbear
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Oldbear »

We’ve always been crazy in love! The key to keeping it fresh for us is communication, being together, caring for each other (we love and like each other!), lots of ‘I love you’ - every day, and plenty of flirting! Also, nothing that either of us suggest sexually surprises either of us - we always show interest and intrigue.
one_woman_man
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by one_woman_man »

1) Where do you get the inspiration for something new when you feel like you're heading towards a rut?
I hope this doesn't sound prideful, but most of the ideas have come from my own head! :) I guess I enjoy thinking and as much as Mrs. OWM allows, we talk about we could try - this is often a topic when we are on drive or a trip. I also do considerable amount of reading so I get food for thought there. I also contemplate these things theologically and at times this also helps to think of the significance and meaning of sexual union.

2) What part, if any, has this community played in that?
A very big part! I am often blessed by the ideas that are shared, the ways in which needs (not just sexual but emotional, etc.) that are unmet, the meaningfulness of certain acts (especially for DWs), the examples of other DHs, and very much so, the sex-positive DWs who share from what they have learned in their journey. It seems the latter is perhaps the most significant for me. Helps me with Mrs. OWM :D
Hubz
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Re: Keeping Things Fresh

Post by Hubz »

1. Honestly, most of my ideas come from my mind. A big part of it is being more open to my fantasies and desires, and figuring out “what I want” and perhaps, more importantly, “why I want it.”

Being honest, some of that has come from previous exposure to porn, some of it has been a “response” to our relationship and difficulties (example, if my wife is seemingly disconnected, finding ways to make her more connected.) And other times it’s simply finding ways to change something small that results in a more unique experience overall.

2. Honestly, I don’t use this group as much for coming up with ideas. I’ve used it a lot more to work through things in my head, identifying the “why” once again, and working through things that are helpful or harmful (again, more so in how I think rather than specific acts.)
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