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Masturbation to increase libido?

What about masturbation by those who are married? This section is for talking about self-stimulation either alone or with your spouse. (Masturbation for children and singles discussed elsewhere.)
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SeekingChange
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by SeekingChange »

@PaulB.... it seems like what you are sharing, that the study is about masturbation and orgasm, not necessarily masturbation and sex drive/desire/libido, is that right?  (I didn't go read the study, I'm just going off of your take.)

Would you say that even if masturbation doesn't help with orgasms, it can help a woman desire sex more (aka her libido)?   The effect masturbation has on orgasms aside,  I still am leaning towards the connection it has to the mind, and thinking about sex (which is almost guaranteed if masturbation is happening) raises a woman's desire for sex.

 

God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by PaulB »

Honestly, I don't know. Half of what I thought was true about female masturbation seems to be wrong. So that makes me question the other half. I still lean towards it helping overall, but I would like to see some real study of the issue.
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by cddude »

Thanks for all the awesome input everyone! Had a great talk with my wife Sunday night after we made love and we are on the same page about this.

Now on how to encourage it...

I'm also wondering about some timely Christmas gift ideas... Would it be too much to gift an egg/bullet vibrator? What about a rabbit style? Too much too soon? She's just getting into the practice of masturbation for this purpose but open to it. I don't want to scare her away with toys but if it helps...
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by cddude »

P.S. any recommendations with links on products like that would be appreciated
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by SeekingChange »

@cddude.... IMO, what would it hurt to try different ones? What's the worst that will happen? She say no, and not use them? She tries them and not like them? We have ended up using those kind of toys together, rather than "just me".

I, personally, rarely use any vibrator or toy while MBing, with the exception of Satisfyer Pro. One reason I masturbate over having sex, is because it's so much more efficient, easier and quicker. To bring out toys, to have to clean them, usually works against the purpose of why I am MBing.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by Mj »

Well for our situation, I dont think my wife has ever masterbated, and l dont think she would tell me if she did, although l would find it very sexy and a turn on. But for me, l have masturbated, cause of her being to tired, not in the mood, and just rejection over the years. I have asked and been turned down and waited days to see if it might happen, then out of frustration l would just please myself, only to realize that l did it so often that l quit asking her and not long pursuing her. She caught on to it then asked why l never mentioned it or purse her anymore, it was because l was taking care of it myself. So it never helped me at all, just seemed to turn me away from her sexually. So l rarely do it now, cause l would much rather have her.
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by georgewhittington »

That's where masturbation comes in for some people. “A woman who is looking to get back into being sexual is encouraged to masturbate since it can lead to more sexual thoughts and better sexual response,” says Dr. Trubow. With that said, sometimes masturbation isn't enough to boost a low libido.
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by wifeforlife »

Hmm... "recent masturbation (up to the last year) slightly reduced the chances a woman would orgasm during intercourse". The phrase "during intercourse" may be the key here. Meaning orgasm as a result of PIV? I've had that happen perhaps one time in 30+ years, and from the survey results I read earlier today on this site, it's not too common for women. If you mean "orgasm during a session that includes intercourse" (PIV), that's a different matter. But 99.99999% of my orgasms during sex with my husband have been from clitoral stimulation before PIV. Until I did some serious study on g-spot stimulation, I never realized that women could orgasm from PIV. I thought the clitoral stimulation was my part, and the PIV was his part--although I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience (most of the time!), it was certainly nothing that ever produced an orgasm for me (until we found and he stimulated the g-spot manually and then entered--which perhaps means it was just a continuation of that orgasm).
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Re: Masturbation to increase libido?

Post by David »

My understanding is that there's an extent to which libido is "use it or lose it", which would suggest that masturbating when it's not possible to have sex regularly might help to maintain libido.

However, there's another side to this that might also be beneficial. If a woman masturbates she's touching *herself* which allows her to explore her body and find out what feels good. This might help a woman who struggles to orgasm to learn how to experience an orgasm, in turn allowing her to teach her husband. This would increase her sexual confidence and enhance lovemaking.

As to the study suggesting that masturbation reduces the chance of orgasm, it's important to remember that correlation is not causation. It's entirely possible that women who masturbate are women who struggle to orgasm during sex, and that's why they masturbate in the first place.
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