Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
After that I noticed that she'd leave a hand towel on the trouser press next to my side of the bed. She's kind like that.
My dad came home from working second shift to find me asleep with my hand in my pants. I guess I had fallen asleep while masturbating. I too haven't been walked in on since back then.
My porn addiction days 2015 and prior, after my confession in 2017, my wife assumed that she remembers me masturbating in bed with her in the middle of the night...never happened.
But in those days she sex starved me for weeks.
- Fell out of ...
- Posts: 1267
- Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
- Location: Either in the backcountry or wishing I were...
I see two reasons for it, although others may have more insight.
First, guilt and/or self esteem issues - Inwardly, perhaps the wife knows she should offer sex more. Finding the husband masturbating is confirmation to the wife that she doesn't measure up. We all have insecurities, and this is one of them.
Second, perhaps the wife truly thinks that the husband desires sex too much. Masturbation would then confirm this theory in her eyes.
I don't know if my husband masturbates or not. I would assume he at least has in the past. I've been on medical pelvic rest a few times in our marriage, and he's been good enough to tell me I don't need to worry about taking care of him in other ways during those times.
If I were to walk in on him in the moment, I think I'd be more amused than anything else. But I'd also want to have a conversation later to see if I needed to improve my availability to him in any way.
Backpacking season, here I come!
Yeah I see that point of view. I think that for me to take care of myself due to her insistent or unspoken sex-starvation, makes me feel less of a man and emasculated more than anything. I can only make myself so busy to keep my mind off of sex but 20 years ago, much harder.
On a biblical note, keeping each others needs met should be top priority rather than an attitude of "he/she will be fine." And if they're not fine its their responsibility and not mine.
I normally only take matters in my own hand when she's away. Sometimes I confessed to having done things, as I left some evidence behind that I assumed DW might notice and it felt better to tell her. For example, there was an occasion when I used her underwear as a target and I was sure she would notice the soaked panties. She was not upset about it. She's fairly pragmatic about these things.
I never walked in on DW either. Sometimes when I was away she had to take care of herself and later she told me about it. If anything, it was a turn on.