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Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

This is THE PLACE to discuss if something sexual is right or wrong.
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Irnmyk
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by Irnmyk »

The answer for us is no, as well - exception being the anonymity of this forum.

One of the things that has truly amazed me over my life is how private most - and I'd put that in a very high percentile range - people are about their sex lives.

Those braggarts that do blather on about it, say in the gym locker room, I've written off to wishful thinking. Those that are doing it aren't talking about it.
WifeysWarrior
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by WifeysWarrior »

Outside of online forums... never. Not once.

As a 2nd hand csa survivor, I wish I had a close friend, or a men’s group of other 2nd hand survivors to be able to share struggles with, in a respectful manner of course. I’m blessed to say the season we currently in is one of healing and great sex, but in our darkest times it was chaotic. I was depressed and didn’t have money for therapy. My wife said I often walked around looking grey. Her night terrors were constant, and waking up and holding her as she cried often left me depleted not having an outlet. Not being able to caress or kiss her without her feeling triggered felt unbearable at times. There were periods where I would have to physically wash her because she would go without for days... she would lash out and fight back out of rage that was displaced towards me. This went on for years...I have NOOOO IDEA how we made it through those storms, but our life today is a complete 360, and I can only attribute that to the lord. I know it wasn’t my own strength.

Looking back at it all, I wish I had someone I could’ve talked to in my darkest hour.


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GeorgeB
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by GeorgeB »

My wife and I have both shared quite a lot with some of our closest friends over the years. It has always resulted in good things, since we’ve been about to answer questions, help each other out with questions, etc.


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MrMarried
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by MrMarried »

mrandmrshumperdink wrote: Wed Jan 08, 2020 8:34 am Not just if you are having it, etc but sharing details or tips from particularly memorable sessions.
Just anonymously online. I think all of us on this forum do at least that.

My understanding is that women tend to talk more about this kind of stuff than men.

My wife was telling me she had a conversation with her cousins about sex after she got married. They asked how often I liked it. She said I wanted it every night. She said I was 20 cm long. When I looked it up in inches, it was quite an exaggeration, but I did not tell her to correct that with her cousins. One of them said after her baby, she was all messed up, and made this funny face with her mouth off to one side to describe her post-birth shape down below. My wife imitated the face, and we both cracked up.

I don't know if it is more the case of women in her culture talking like that, but I think it is a male female thing. Boys might boast in the locker room, but when we get married to a woman we care about, a man.... I think.... is less likely to talk to other men about such things, but women do.
bandaddie
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by bandaddie »

I am governed by Federal Sexual Harassment In The Workplace rules.
Any discussion of sex in a violation of said rules, even away from the workplace, under many circumstances.
Thus I am not comfortable contributing to many of the threads I have read here, though they appear sincere, thoughtful and heartfelt, even though I think I may have something of value to contribute.
Andrew
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by Andrew »

Yes, we share quite a bit with close friends. Never in a braggy way, mostly just to talk about difficulties and share some ideas.
oldiesradio
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by oldiesradio »

In a word, no.

Sex is a sacred part of the covenant between a husband and wife, and I feel that discussing it with outsiders is inappropriate (unless both spouses agree, as in a therapy session, etc.) Spilling such intimate, personal things about your spouse to an outsider without their knowledge is an extremely disloyal act IMHO.

I am divorced, and I still don't discuss with anybody things that went on sexually between myself and my ex. I just feel that is a confidence I am not entitled to break.

Plus you never know how that is going to be interpreted. Sending signals that you are unhappy with your sex life can prompt somebody so disposed to try and seduce you into having an affair. Popping off about how great your spouse is in the sack is liable to prompt the same move on them.

In that sense this board provides a welcome opportunity to discuss such things in anonymity.
Irnmyk
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by Irnmyk »

Not in person with real people - EVER!!!! Our sex life is completely private. I don't have any reason to believe that DW see's it any differently.

Now, on an anonymous Board like this one where I am a username and you don't even really know if I am a real person or not, yes, obviously.

You'll have to just keep guessing whether it's really me or a Bot here.
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hastentheday
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by hastentheday »

oldiesradio wrote: Thu Jun 10, 2021 1:26 pm In a word, no.

Sex is a sacred part of the covenant between a husband and wife, and I feel that discussing it with outsiders is inappropriate (unless both spouses agree, as in a therapy session, etc.) Spilling such intimate, personal things about your spouse to an outsider without their knowledge is an extremely disloyal act IMHO.

I am divorced, and I still don't discuss with anybody things that went on sexually between myself and my ex. I just feel that is a confidence I am not entitled to break.

In that sense this board provides a welcome opportunity to discuss such things in anonymity.
THIS!!! Not everyone will agree. Also, is there such a thing as 100% anonymity?
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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hastentheday
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Re: Do you talk about your sex life with other people?

Post by hastentheday »

bandaddie wrote: Thu Jun 10, 2021 12:36 pm I am governed by Federal Sexual Harassment In The Workplace rules.
Any discussion of sex in a violation of said rules, even away from the workplace, under many circumstances.
Thus I am not comfortable contributing to many of the threads I have read here, though they appear sincere, thoughtful and heartfelt, even though I think I may have something of value to contribute.
@bandaddie,
Would you care to elaborate on this statement of yours? Reason I pose the question is that you have recently shared a lot more about sex and your marriage than most users here do and yet you write that you are governed by some set of rules. What are you allowed to share? What are you not allowed to share? It seems to me that you have shared very openly and honestly which is your prerogative and right. But, this doesn't seem to square with your workplace rules and is very confusing to those of us that read your statement. I hope you can clarify matters with additional explanation.

P.S. I read the journey of how you and your wife got back together after the brink of divorce. What a story! Thanks for sharing.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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