New M/f element in relationship

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vazny
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New M/f element in relationship

Post by vazny »

After 29 years of marriage (boths 51) we found that M/f dominance with some pain is our heart style. We battle with it over all marriage years. We was IN from our early years, what we remember, already before teenagers.

But after some years, it joined with pornography in internet era, so it was big problem for me and a small for DW.

Many times I tried to stop it, solved it with God, church leaders, friends etc. After some time I was back.

Now we decided to have special M/f time over long weekend. I ordered lights, ribbons, fragrance, handcuffs and other cuffs, rod,... I studied some techniques (dominant stripping, sensuality, spanking) on kink (not very pure) sites. It was very nice, our sex was recovering and after return to "normal life" we have recovered our wedding oath.

One of new things for me was, that people deep in this lifestyle complain against s unreality of porno in same style as we - Christians.

This is not our hard only style for sex, however my wife needs some (from my point hard) spanking (she is brave hearted) for real arousal for sex. I have strong ED, both diabetes, so our sex is every time a lottery, so we continuing often with hands and vib eggs. So it was big miracle for us to find that we can be together in this new style. We have had sex less than 1 times per month and now 2 from 3 days (in times when nobody at appt). I keep it in very reasonable level, as I love DW generally, not only in it, it is play only, most of I do, I am doing for her (atmosphere, I am more switch than dominant, we are new-born charismatic CHRISTIANS many years (30+)...). I want to combine it with vanilla times, as we need to feel both spiritual truths - wife shoul obey and have fearful respect to me, however also she is equal to me and her needs must be prioritized before my ones. And in eternal aspect will be not difference between man and woman. It is also only part of bedroom play with little overlaps to real life (more polite, better respect for me).

Could it has negative spiritual consequences?

Are some little be more clean sites for king master learning?

Sorry for my English - I am foreigner from CE.
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SeekingChange
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by SeekingChange »

vazny wrote: Sat Nov 12, 2022 1:12 am Could it has negative spiritual consequences?
It could, but it doesn't have to. It's really about the heart.

Check your PMs for some thoughts on your other question.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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vazny
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by vazny »

I have a bit fear from very strong DW focus on pain and desire to have fearful respect to me (be broken in the games). It is totally top for her. I could be dominant, (I am much more switch), but she is in reality quite humble (sometimes quarrelsome) however very strong and tenacious. And wants to be tamed.

I try to make long vanilla aftercare after every game/sex.

What we have now is quite everyday long evening time, at least with long evening spiel and hugs when we haven't privacy at home (small quite open-space appt without real doors, only curtains, folding doors). It is totally new and excellent.

But we need to find our way in the wave of exciting, hormones, new love...
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by 2pak »

Hmm. You have a 'brat.' Sumissive who likes to break rules and push your buttons to feel your dominance.
I like to prod my wife to 'brat' some without her realizing it, then up the dominance. A great push/pull. It's fun but would get tiresome for me if it was all the time. If your girl is a full brat, you have to keep the dominance up. She likes it. If it gets disrespectful, you have your hands full.

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vazny
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by vazny »

2pak wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 5:07 am Hmm. You have a 'brat.'
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We are 50+. She was in bedroom everytime little brat. However we tried to be whole time the vanillas. And on the beginning I had big fear from intimacy. Only sometimes I tried to tie her.

But she need a dominance I now it. DW melted in my hands as snow. It wasan amazing discovery. Dominace - no problem. But the pain - and I am a bit sadist inside but above all Christian and for me is much more easy to forgive, than punish. And submit to others , not solve sins of others (love covers many sins, leader should be servant, peaceful). Inflict pain is hard for me. I can do it but all inside me is in battle. This new challenge in totally funny and in unusual area.
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by SeekingChange »

vazny wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:53 amInflict pain is hard for me. I can do it but all inside me is in battle.
Of course I don't know your details or dynamic, but I can say that when aroused, there is pain that I find very pleasurable. So is my husband truly inflicting pain, or is he giving pleasure when he does these things?
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: New M/f element in relationship

Post by Oldbear »

The sexual pleasure/pain phenomenon is natural to heightened neuron triggers.

Pinching, twisting, pulling on nipples at the height of sexual excitement can trigger a peak of pleasure. When there is no sexual stirring, the same action may be painful.

The same is true prior to ejaculation for the penis, scrotum, and testes. Rough handling can bring on an intense orgasm; after pleasurable release - no way!
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