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1.) Why we chose it
DW never liked the idea of hormonal contraception. Her mum tried it and reacted badly to it and also she really didn't fancy taking a hormonal substance for many years. After some tentative attempts of different alternative methods, we thought "why don't we try this and see what happens?". I should add that we accepted that we didn't know how it was going to work out, we were not terribly panicky about the idea of a surprise baby either. So we were open to all possible outcomes.
DW was also very much in tune with her body so she could tell pretty much when she was ovulating (in fact she reckoned she could feel a slight transient pain when it happened) so that was helpful. Plus when we were dating we did a lot of mutual masturbation so I was fairly in tune with her body too and I would notice the subtle changes when she was fertile. Also, I was quite good at controlling my own timing, so that was helpful too.
2.) What we did
Basically, we did PIV to completion when we felt it was safe to do so, so avoided the mid-cycle days. During the fertile days we either did other things (DW always needed clitoral play to reach orgasm, so it was not too much of a deprivation not to be able to do PIV all the time), or we did PIV but as I got very close to the point of no return, I pulled out, DW reached down and finished me with her hands. (That was actually very important because the thrusting, stroking sensation was still there for my own orgasm.) Also, DW was always very happy for me to finish on her body, so that was of course helpful too.
We did this for about 3, almost 4 years. No surprises, DW didn't get pregnant. Then whilst we didn't exactly plan to have a baby, we became really relaxed about the possibility, so we stopped doing it. Within 2 months, DW was pregnant with our firstborn (now a married man himself...)
So basically what this suggested is that the method did not just work out of good luck or because DW had difficulty getting pregnant, but it worked because we were doing it right.
After our son was born, we carried on as before. Again, almost exactly the same happened... we followed the same method for about 3 years and DW didn't get pregnant. Then we stopped and DW got pregnant immediately. So our daughter was conceived.
So that's it in a nutshell. It worked for us, so we were happy with it. Now that DW's fertile days are over, we no longer need to do it but while we did it, it worked.
Any more questions, feel free to send me a PM.
She tracked her cycle and we didn't have sex at all during her fertile time. At all other times, we did pull out sex.
I remember her doctor said pull out sex works, IF you actually do it. People have too many accidents.
In about a 4 year time, I only missed pulling out 2 or 3 times, which still, is a risk, but we didn't do sex during her fertile time either. The thing I learned that made it a LOT easier, let her have her orgasm and before I got to close to mine, pull out then, not right before orgasm. Right before is difficult. Usually, she would orgasm, we would rest a minute or so, I would pull out then and finish with a handjob.
So, we basically went four years without me ejaculating inside ever and we avoided sex during her fertile time. When we decided to get pregnant again, she was pregnant within a month or two.
We have used this same method for 6 years now with no pregnancies. The book is very good and explains it thoroughly. Given the kids we had previous to this there were probably people who wondered if we realized what caused the kids to keep coming. So fertility on my wife's part wasn't an issue. We just abstain during the fertile period, but have finished to completion inside from after her fertile period has passed up until just after her cycle has finished.Beaglebag wrote: ↑Thu Jun 23, 2022 8:05 am So Fertility Awareness Method uses physical signs like basal body temperature, cervical fluid,and cervical location/feel to determine fertility. You only need to track two of three. You either abstain or use a barrier method during fertile periods, and it can help whether you are avoiding or trying conception (just you obviously don't use prevention during the fertile period). There is an informative book on it you can probably find in your local library, Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and a website, TCOYF.com. We like how it's relatively simple but effective. Both of our kids were about as planned as they could be (kid #2 took longer than expected, but we didn't need medical help), and it's a good fit for our relationship.
The positives have been no need for chemical or physical contraceptives (we are very anti-chemical intervention for health reasons). The downside is that my wife is much more open and receptive physically during her fertile period (when we can't finish to completion), and has much less desire and physical ability to get aroused during the time when we could actually finish to completion. So her desire highs and lows are the complete opposite of our "go" and "no-go" periods.
- No accidental pregnancies.
- Three of our kids and one miscarriage happened with just one month of trying (throwing out the month after the miscarriage, which can be a weird one.)
- The other kid was conceived with three months of trying.
And the reason we stopped using NFP after 12 years? Vasectomy!
Then I looked again - well, OK, now I understand...
DW said that we used NFP at some stages of our child bearing years, along with others (she and the 'pill' didn't get along at all). She mentioned one "surprise" that resulted during that stage that we dearly love now as being part of that consideration.
It worked very well. In fact, the only time we got pregnant when we weren't planning on it was due to the fault of the condom we were using (that's a whole other story), not the FAM.