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Can sex be your love language?

What marriage resources have been helpful or encouraging to you?
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hastentheday
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Can sex be your love language?

Post by hastentheday »

@SnowAngel started this thread recently which led to a spirited debate about whether sex is a love language or not:

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=3139&p=47206#p47206

And, today I found this article at "Knowing Her Sexually" by J. Parker which offered another opinion on love languages and sex:

https://khsministry.com/2021/05/27/is-s ... -language/

Here are my best quotes I read from the article:

*"Here’s the theory I’ve had for a long time: Sexual intimacy is multilingual. That is, sex isn’t its own love language, nor it is necessarily Physical Touch. Rather, sex has the capacity to speak any and all of the five love languages. Sexual intimacy involves touch, but it can also be seen as a gift, involves acts of service, calls for quality time, and can evoke words of affirmation."

*"Knowing your own love language can you help you ask for what’s most meaningful in your marriage and during sex. You may discover your sexual hunger is more thoroughly sated once your emotional love language needs are met in the bedroom."

*"But it’s not all about you, of course. You may be able to improve your wife’s experience and desire for sex by speaking her love language. First, it’s important to speak her love language outside the bedroom! That’s the groundwork for a secure and intimate relationship from which to build quality sexual intimacy."

*"A fair number of husbands have told me their primary love language is sex. They report feeling most connected to their wives through sexual intimacy or explain how sex sates a
longing for loving acceptance. I understand that, but you may be mislabeling what’s going on. So why would it feel like sex is your love language if it’s not? Here are some reasons why says Parker:
1. You're not getting enough
2. Your sex drive is physically felt
3. You enjoy sex most for the language it speaks to you"

What do you think? Do you think that sex is a love language? What else did you learn from the article? Any other thoughts?
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
LuckyInLove
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by LuckyInLove »

It’s too bad the OP never came back to further the discussion. I enjoyed the article and agree with the premise that if you are starving sexually, sex can feel like your primary love language.

My thoughts on why sex really isn’t a love language is because we receive love from many more people than our spouse. We obviously aren’t having sex with those other people. Even if touch is your primary language, that can be fulfilled with hugs, arm around shoulder, or holding hands (maybe with a child or praying with a friend).
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benny
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by benny »





1. You're not getting enough
2. Your sex drive is physically felt
3. You enjoy sex most for the language it speaks to you"


This speaks to me in many ways. I've never thought of sex as a love language I've always thought sex was the consummation of love languages.




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SeekingChange
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by SeekingChange »

I don't view it as an official "love language", but I get what people mean when they say it. And I have said before that one of the greatest ways my husband feels loved is via sex.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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BHF
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by BHF »

Love that article on Knowing Her Sexually. Thanks for the link. Love the fresh perspective.
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hastentheday
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by hastentheday »

BHF wrote: Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:39 am Love that article on Knowing Her Sexually. Thanks for the link. Love the fresh perspective.
FYI. J.Parker writes on another blog called HotHolyHumorous.com

I've enjoyed reading her for awhile now.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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BHF
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by BHF »

hastentheday wrote: Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:46 am
BHF wrote: Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:39 am Love that article on Knowing Her Sexually. Thanks for the link. Love the fresh perspective.
FYI. J.Parker writes on another blog called HotHolyHumorous.com

I've enjoyed reading her for awhile now.
I know, right? I didn't know that she and Chris (SP) had partnered up for KHS. Pretty awesome!
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Beccaloo
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by Beccaloo »

hastentheday wrote: Wed Jun 02, 2021 4:08 am And, today I found this article at "Knowing Her Sexually" by J. Parker which offered another opinion on love languages and sex:

https://khsministry.com/2021/05/27/is-s ... -language/
Ugh, you would have to start an interesting post just when I have no time for anything more than to skim over others responses. :lol:
I'm looking forward to checking out this article & possibly finding my way back here to add to the discussion. ::praise
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hastentheday
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by hastentheday »

Beccaloo wrote: Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:50 am
Ugh, you would have to start an interesting post just when I have no time for anything more than to skim over others responses. :lol:
I'm looking forward to checking out this article & possibly finding my way back here to add to the discussion. ::praise
The thread will still be here for when you have more time to think about things.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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Oldbear
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Re: Can sex be your love language?

Post by Oldbear »

hastentheday wrote: Wed Jun 02, 2021 4:08 am
*"Here’s the theory I’ve had for a long time: Sexual intimacy is multilingual. That is, sex isn’t its own love language, nor it is necessarily Physical Touch. Rather, sex has the capacity to speak any and all of the five love languages. Sexual intimacy involves touch, but it can also be seen as a gift, involves acts of service, calls for quality time, and can evoke words of affirmation."
As I briefly ponder the OP question, this (statement above) came to mind. LL are the basis for the ‘language of sex.’ How Mrs. Oldbear and I express ourselves . . . speak to as an a t of doing or saying . . . each other’s LL, we find that ‘sex our mutual love language.’
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