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Shout Out to All the Husbands!

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DoveGrey
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Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by DoveGrey »

So I had to enter a period of pelvic rest 2 weeks ago for TMI reasons. I really didn't want to tell Dh, despite his being incredibly cool about previous no-sex-zone times in our marriage. When I did tell him, I offered up alternatives to PiV.

His response was that he didn't want me to worry about any kind of sex. He just wanted me to heal. He didn't even bat an eye. It was just his natural response. This, of course, is who he is. It's how he's always been. I don't know why I worry. I suppose I've heard too many horror stories. There's a lot of moving parts, so to speak, in the female reproductive system. Sometimes the very thought of sex is stressful, even for someone with a typically high drive. It's not always easy to ask for needed time off, and I know some guys make that worse.

Anyway, shout out to all the husbands who are just so... nice about these things. You are appreciated.
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Ron
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by Ron »

You have an awesome husband! My wife likes to take "sex breaks" occasionally, do nothing sexually for a few days, about a week to 10 days. She doesn't want to do anything sexually during this time, no acting horny, asking for sex etc. I give her that space. We do this about every 6 weeks or so. She says it relaxes her to not think about sex.
Burban
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by Burban »

Ron wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 5:49 am You have an awesome husband! My wife likes to take "sex breaks" occasionally, do nothing sexually for a few days, about a week to 10 days. She doesn't want to do anything sexually during this time, no acting horny, asking for sex etc. I give her that space. We do this about every 6 weeks or so. She says it relaxes her to not think about sex.
I wonder if there is a biological/psychological root to the Mosaic law prohibition of sexual relations during a woman’s menstrual cycle. My plain reading of the relevant passages indicates a prohibition of all sexual contact, not just PIV. It’s like a Sabbath rest from sex for both couples.
CTim
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by CTim »

I applaud you for thinking positively about him. We all need more of that in our lives. Bravo!

We've only had a handful of times during our marriage when it was off the table for a time. However, I remember a bit of relief even as a HD husband. There was no worry about will it happen tonight, whether or not she would be receptive, no worry about will she enjoy it, will she be into it, will it be fulfilling, etc. Being serviced just for my own relief was never very appealing to me anyway.
sd595
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by sd595 »

It is awesome DoveGrey that you and you husband are a blessing to each other!!!
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DoveGrey
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by DoveGrey »

Burban wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:42 am I wonder if there is a biological/psychological root to the Mosaic law prohibition of sexual relations during a woman’s menstrual cycle. My plain reading of the relevant passages indicates a prohibition of all sexual contact, not just PIV. It’s like a Sabbath rest from sex for both couples.
I have wondered this, too. Sometimes, even without health issues, I feel like I just need a break. And I love sex, so it really has nothing to do with desire. I just feel like I need to have a physical rest from it, like an off day in a workout routine. I think I'm going to read up on this.
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Irnmyk
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by Irnmyk »

DoveGrey wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 11:14 am
Burban wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:42 am I wonder if there is a biological/psychological root to the Mosaic law prohibition of sexual relations during a woman’s menstrual cycle. My plain reading of the relevant passages indicates a prohibition of all sexual contact, not just PIV. It’s like a Sabbath rest from sex for both couples.
I have wondered this, too. Sometimes, even without health issues, I feel like I just need a break. And I love sex, so it really has nothing to do with desire. I just feel like I need to have a physical rest from it, like an off day in a workout routine. I think I'm going to read up on this.
As you study, you may note that it isn't listed as (mortal) sin, just that it would make one "unclean" if they did that. Being "unclean" had certain ceremonial requirements to return one's self to a "clean" state and be acceptable to "the crowd".

I think it was more of a sanitary thing than a (mortal) sin thing. It may have had to do with God's view of blood and it's life giving qualities (prohibitions to Noah about eating meat with blood in it, and the Council's recommendation go Gentile Christians in Acts).

Anyway, see if your study shows you that at all.
Ron
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by Ron »

Burban wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:42 am
Ron wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 5:49 am You have an awesome husband! My wife likes to take "sex breaks" occasionally, do nothing sexually for a few days, about a week to 10 days. She doesn't want to do anything sexually during this time, no acting horny, asking for sex etc. I give her that space. We do this about every 6 weeks or so. She says it relaxes her to not think about sex.
I wonder if there is a biological/psychological root to the Mosaic law prohibition of sexual relations during a woman’s menstrual cycle. My plain reading of the relevant passages indicates a prohibition of all sexual contact, not just PIV. It’s like a Sabbath rest from sex for both couples.
Ha, never thought about it like that. While most guys aren't keen on a sex break, my wife enjoys them occasionally. When we do them, it is for 7 to 10 days. It does take pressure off me wondering if we might have sex or do something sexual. Knowing there isn't going to be sex is a lot easier to deal with for me.
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by LBD »

Irnmyk wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 11:28 am
DoveGrey wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 11:14 am
Burban wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:42 am I wonder if there is a biological/psychological root to the Mosaic law prohibition of sexual relations during a woman’s menstrual cycle. My plain reading of the relevant passages indicates a prohibition of all sexual contact, not just PIV. It’s like a Sabbath rest from sex for both couples.
I have wondered this, too. Sometimes, even without health issues, I feel like I just need a break. And I love sex, so it really has nothing to do with desire. I just feel like I need to have a physical rest from it, like an off day in a workout routine. I think I'm going to read up on this.
As you study, you may note that it isn't listed as (mortal) sin, just that it would make one "unclean" if they did that. Being "unclean" had certain ceremonial requirements to return one's self to a "clean" state and be acceptable to "the crowd".

I think it was more of a sanitary thing than a (mortal) sin thing. It may have had to do with God's view of blood and it's life giving qualities (prohibitions to Noah about eating meat with blood in it, and the Council's recommendation go Gentile Christians in Acts).

Anyway, see if your study shows you that at all.
You beat me to it….

To me, the passage in 1 Cor 7 also indicates that a time “for prayer and fasting” would be amplified in benefit with a sexual fast included. Though not required there either, there is certainly nothing wrong with it, and could be many things right with it. “…agreed upon for a time…” also indicates it is not a permanent state and is a state of mutuality.

I have deciphered many of the Mosaic laws down to some very practical sanitation and healthful reasonings as well. Most of those have only been averted by modern sanitation and medicine in the last century really, certainly last two hundred years. Those reasons would have still been valid in NT times. Doesn’t mean they were “law” post-Messianic age, but some could have still been “smart.”
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. -Thomas Sowell
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Twue_Wuv
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Re: Shout Out to All the Husbands!

Post by Twue_Wuv »

You are very welcome, DoveGrey!
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
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