Just don't care

Low or no sex drive?
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King bed
King bed
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Re: Just don't care

Post by Melgrace7 »

The shame was placed squarely on my shoulders, and in my heart, because I was not acting under submission, as a wife is commanded in the bible.

Gatekeeping isn't always just a wife being not interested. It isn't always just them saying no. And this is where I struggle, and occasionally raise my thoughts, when I read about higher drive (usually the men) quoting verses that almost demand a wife should be more submissive to the marriage, through actively meeting the sexual desires of their husbands, as if sex was the cure all for all their issues.
I agree with you. I’m so glad you can see that session with the pastor and his wife for what it was. Also: How absolutely cowardly for the men to have shirked that conversation whilst the women did their well-meaning but misdirected best.
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Re: Just don't care

Post by olafthewise »

its a matter of hope. If I know she won't respond, hope is lost and M is the only relief. If there is hope of trying and showing up, etc...then I can know that M is not necessary because its promised for weekly or when I ask, etc. If I get excuses and blame on me, this equals "no hope," M is the only alternative.
for some, its porn, others both porn and M or just M.
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Under the stars
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Re: Just don't care

Post by LBD »

MOST people exist in their own little world. Everything that happens is couched in the response to the things inside that world. We only do what we want to do. I know a lot will push back on that - but you should think about it first. Even when you “do something for someone else that you don’t enjoy”, you do so because you are looking forward to a greater “reward” that you will enjoy. For Christians, that is ultimately heaven. That’s ok, it’s how God designed the system. But bring it back down to local and timely decisions. Are you making those little choices for yourself only? I can tell you, my wife has only fairly recently been able to get out of her world and consider her own solipsistic actions. What I have learned is that my past actions kept her comfortable in her solipsism. Now I am endeavoring to do otherwise. I had to get out of my own world first. It has proved hard for us both.
There are no solutions, only trade-offs. -Thomas Sowell
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