Perimenopause + Wife's Best Friends

[LiamC_0]

Hi everyone,

Just want to say that I am happily married, I love my wife so much, she is my best friend, but this has been the worst year of my life and our marriage.

If there are any women on here who would be willing to PM me and who are going through (or have gone through) perimenopause, and it caused massive changes in your marriage, I would be so appreciative to chat with you for advice. On top of that, my wife's two best friends are both trying to separate/divorce their husbands, and I know this sounds bad, but misery really seems to love company. Why can't my wife have female friends who love their husbands?

If any woman would be willing to PM me, I would be most appreciative.

[SeekingChange]

Can you give a basic idea of what kind of information you are seeking?

[clearbluesky]

If any woman would be willing to PM me, I would be most appreciative.

Search YouTube Rachel Rubin Episode 348 and the first 20 minutes is very informative for men understanding menopause. The entire podcast is worth the 2 hour investment. I know we live in a TikTok world, but short cliff notes just don’t cut it.

I would also challenge that while women may give a perspective to what is feels like from the inside, they don’t have the years of experience combined that men do on TMB how it feels from what you’re feeling as a husband and be a bit more appropriate the adapting that is needed. Everyone is different so there isn’t a one size fits all answer. My experience is that things that may have been difficulties before can no longer be masked as easily when a woman has trouble keeping mental composure through changes. The adhesive on the bandaids start to wear.

[LiamC_0]

If any woman would be willing to PM me, I would be most appreciative.

Search YouTube Rachel Rubin Episode 348 and the first 20 minutes is very informative for men understanding menopause. The entire podcast is worth the 2 hour investment. I know we live in a TikTok world, but short cliff notes just don’t cut it.

I would also challenge that while women may give a perspective to what is feels like from the inside, they don’t have the years of experience combined that men do on TMB how it feels from what you’re feeling as a husband and be a bit more appropriate the adapting that is needed. Everyone is different so there isn’t a one size fits all answer. My experience is that things that may have been difficulties before can no longer be masked as easily when a woman has trouble keeping mental composure through changes. The adhesive on the bandaids start to wear.

That's very useful. I will definitely watch it. I will say though, perimenopause can't explain my wife's change in the past 10 months. It's caused me so much anxiety and I have always had strong mental health.

[LiamC_0]

Can you give a basic idea of what kind of information you are seeking?

I guess I would describe it as a correlation between perimenopause and what I would consider a midlife crisis in my wife. Whatever the underlying causes, the changes I’ve experienced in her during this period have been incredibly damaging to me personally and to our marriage.

[LBD]

I will say though, perimenopause can't explain my wife's change in the past 10 months. It's caused me so much anxiety and I have always had strong mental health.

You might be surprised at what it can explain. I know of several stories where women have lost their minds - figuratively speaking. Doing things completely out of character. BS crazy stuff! Hormones are powerful things. It takes a very stable man to weather the storm sometimes.
But this is only one reason a marriage must be based on something firmer, more consistent than “feelings”. Those that do are likely to make it through. Those don't….

[LiamC_0]

I will say though, perimenopause can't explain my wife's change in the past 10 months. It's caused me so much anxiety and I have always had strong mental health.

I know of several stories where women have lost their minds - figuratively speaking. Doing things completely out of character. BS crazy stuff!

Keep going. Please provide some examples.

[LBD]

I know of several stories where women have lost their minds - figuratively speaking. Doing things completely out of character. BS crazy stuff!

Keep going. Please provide some examples.

Details do not matter. Out of character for one may be in character for another. Just know that hormonal changes of menopause can be very impactful. Even more so than pregnancy. In one sense, those hormones are like drugs. And now they are going, going, gone. You can have withdrawal symptoms and personality changes.

[newwifenewlife]

Just know that hormonal changes of menopause can be very impactful. Even more so than pregnancy. In one sense, those hormones are like drugs. And now they are going, going, gone. You can have withdrawal symptoms and personality changes.

Along with memory loss and their “I don’t give a ” meter can be off the charts and growing”.

[LBD]

Just know that hormonal changes of menopause can be very impactful. Even more so than pregnancy. In one sense, those hormones are like drugs. And now they are going, going, gone. You can have withdrawal symptoms and personality changes.

Along with memory loss and their “I don’t give a ” meter can be off the charts and growing”.

....yep.... If she naturally struggles with tone...well, there's no control now.