What’s worse than a sexless marriage?

[Sygoonda]

A loveless and non-communicative marriage is worse than a sexless marriage.

Seems they often go hand in hand. Many husbands are communication challenged.

Some wives are communication challenged too.

[IntimateMoment]

A loveless and non-communicative marriage is worse than a sexless marriage.

Seems they often go hand in hand. Many husbands are communication challenged.

Some wives are communication challenged too.

True. And no surprise so many marriages end and of those that last, so many are because of the kids, financial reasons, or feeling their religion says for better or worse. People seem unwilling to compromise for various reasons. Unahppy marriage vs divorce seems like a common decision most couples face.

[olafthewise]

A sexless marriage...
...AND you are high sex drive, AND DW is very beautiful, and you see her nude from time to time AND often you see young beautiful women weekly and/or at the gym.
and you have a stupid or boring job that you cannot leave or you are unemployed or under employed, and with no money you cannot go anywhere and cannot afford any hobbies...
and DW hates or has contempt towards you.

[olafthewise]

I knew a mike smith once but a common name.
I feel for you. What reason does she give for refusal? is it legit or some mental thing like "you're mean" or "if its not for making kids then I don't wanna."

[Mike smith]

OTW, She has a family history of relationship difficulties, her behavior is common knowledge in the family’, my therapist suspects borderline personality disorder and or a childhood hx of child abuse.

[newwifenewlife]

… What reason does she give for refusal? is it legit or some mental thing like "you're mean" or "if its not for making kids then I don't wanna."

Who gets to decide what is legit, Olaf? What makes a reason given by the other person as illegitimate?

[MrMarried]

While I can think of many things that are worse than not getting sex from your spouse, this probably tops my list.

Staring at 3 monitors, connecting to 3 laptops, and an iPhone without a single email came across or a meeting to attend.

God please make me useful.

Being in a sexless marriage and having your toenail pulled off without anesthesia.

Aside from a few months after childbirth, my wife traveling, and maybe one other period of time, I don't think I've ever been in a 'sexless marriage' as defined by less than sex once a month. But I can tell you getting your toenail pulled off really hurts. So combining them would be worse than just a sexless marriage.

[MrMarried]

Especially if you are still young. At church many of the post menopaus women have adnitted they have no desire anymore. Many used to need it more than once a day but would not mind never having sex again. Which is no big deal if the spouse feels the same I guess. There are solutionsthat many men find.

Just curious what kind of church this is (where there are _many_ premenopausal women who needed sex more than once a day.)

[olafthewise]

I quote myself, again; married women feel that her husband is a safe guy and that by sex starving him, he will NOT do anything rash like get a girlfriend or get into porn or masturbate excessively without her knowledge. What else is there?
Oh, I know; buy really expensive stuff like an old car, guns, golf clubs to use weekly, new boat or camper, etc. Or if you have no money or just enough to get by, you can afford nothing, not even marriage counseling so DW is safe. except porn is there, oh but he is a moral guy so in his poverty, sex starvation and her ignorance she can continue this excuse of "not feeling it" and she is safe, right?

Or is it like my church friend who says he gets sex twice; Once on valentines, once on anniversary.
Wow. The church is so weak. No wonder people stop going.

[newwifenewlife]

...
Or is it like my church friend who says he gets sex twice; Once on valentines, once on anniversary.
Wow. The church is so weak. No wonder people stop going.

Is it really fair and appropriate to blame "the church/Church"? Is it really "the church/Church" or is it people who are being stubborn and/or sinful in their behavior? People who are unwilling to lead? Spouse unwilling to change? Spouses unwilling to make and allow their spouse in the marriage to be uncomfortable enough so that they're willing to face issues individually and as a couple?