Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Can't orgasm, delayed orgasm, etc.
Forum rules
Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
Post Reply
User avatar
Robin904
Double
Double
Posts: 72
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2023 7:19 pm

Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by Robin904 »

Hubby and I have been married almost 24 years now. I've always taken longer than him to orgasm, however, the past few months it's taken me way longer than it used to. I always get there eventually, no matter the method. The amount of time it takes me now is getting frustrating for both of us. I'm wondering if it has to do with age. I'm pretty close to the age when menopause could start at any time but other than having hormones tested, I have no way to know it's started. All the symptoms can be attributed to something else in my case (I had a partial hysterectomy and have several chronic conditions). We're both looking for suggestions on how to speed things up a bit. Doesn't seem to matter what method he tries to get me there. The longer it takes, the more frustrating it is. The more frustrating it is, the longer it takes. An orgasm achieved after so much frustration is far from satisfying. Yes, we can use toys, but neither of us want to depend on them. We are thinking of keeping a written record of what we did and how long it took though I wonder if that would turn into a chore for me and make things worse (though maybe my hubby could keep the record? [He's on this board so he'll see that]). Another idea I had was to maybe keep kegel balls in on days we are likely to be intimate. Things are neither stale nor boring in the bedroom and I still very much enjoy sex so those aren't the problem. We really need to find a way to make things better before it becomes a mind block that I can't come back from.
‭‭Nehemiah‬ ‭8:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
User avatar
SeekingChange
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8106
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:45 pm
Location: All I know is I'm not home yet

Re: Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by SeekingChange »

It definitely sounds like it could hormone related. A bullet vibe is a huge help to me. But in those times of the month where I really stuggle, anal stimulation is what will help take me over the edge.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
User avatar
Oldbear
On the floor
On the floor
Posts: 1519
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by Oldbear »

SeekingChange wrote: Sat Dec 16, 2023 6:37 am . . . anal stimulation is what will help take me over the edge.
True for us, too. As she’s aged, Mrs. Oldbear finds that anal stimulation puts her over the top.
Many are the plans of a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
Tantalum
Hammock
Hammock
Posts: 1150
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by Tantalum »

You are not alone with your experience.
Since the menopause, DW’s libido and ability to reach orgasm has “dropped off a cliff” (her exact words). We are battling on, but it’s definitely a fraction of what it was like.
For us, that’s just the way it is; DW would never consider anything like HRT, she doesn’t see it as a medical problem, just part of the natural process of aging.
Raymond
Queen bed
Queen bed
Posts: 134
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by Raymond »

I think the sexual urge decreases anyway with age although it can affect frequency and not desire at the time which seems to be endless. Sometimes DW opts for satisfying me without any benefit for hersef either because she is tired or has been overly busy. There are things she can do for me which are not IC. I think she would find it a big hassle to expect to climax everytime, although I do try my best.

I was curious about anal sex being the answer for some women climaxing. What exactly is this?
User avatar
SeekingChange
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8106
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:45 pm
Location: All I know is I'm not home yet

Re: Now taking twice as long to orgasm

Post by SeekingChange »

Raymond wrote: Tue Dec 19, 2023 4:05 am I was curious about anal sex being the answer for some women climaxing. What exactly is this?
If you are talking about my comment, I am not speaking of anal sex, but only anal stimulation, usually with his fingers as we have PIV, sometimes a toy is used.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
Post Reply

Return to “Female Orgasm Difficulties”