Well...It's Happening

[y2gweb]

I'm 44 years old and starting to have trouble getting it up. I don't know where to start so any advice would be welcome.

I've been pretty open on this forum before on my struggles with bisexuality, feeling at times like I am trans, etc. I spent a lot of years looking at porn and really got stuck on sissy porn for a while and got to the point where I was exclusively fantasizing about being a woman and having sex with men. It's something I've struggled with my whole life.

I've come a long way and I am sincerely attracted to my wife, but sometimes I feel myself yearning for what I was looking for in porn (while we are having sex). The other day my wife noticed for the first time I was really having trouble. She said my erection wasn't as hard as it has been in the past and at an awkward moment during our love making, I almost completely lost my erection and we had to stop and talk about it.

At this point, I am not sure if is something wrong biologically or is it all the years spent looking at porn and focusing my attraction on men? I never thought I would be struggling with this at 44.

[cfbfan]

I'm 71 and while not having all the issues you mention, I was losing my erection. I could get hard but sometimes, it would just go away. The doctor put me on tadalafil at 2.5mg per day and it's great! You could at least talk to a GP about getting a prescription and try that before going into analysis and seeing if the condition might be mental.

[SeekingChange]

I would suggest finding a bhrt doctor and get a hormone panel done. My husband was a little younger than you when his testosterone started going low.

DefyMedical is a great resource and does telemed.

[MiddleMan]

There was a time in my 30s where I was having trouble keeping an erection. It seemed to go away when I started walking regularly. Now I'm 60, I've had trouble for 10 years off-and-on. The first time I took Viagra my wife loved it because I was really hard, and I guess I hadn't been for quite a while, but I hadn't noticed. Diet and exercise, focused thought-life, and get a check-up, as others will suggest, including T-levels as SC suggested.

[PaulB]

The other day my wife noticed for the first time I was really having trouble. She said my erection wasn't as hard as it has been in the past and at an awkward moment during our love making, I almost completely lost my erection and we had to stop and talk about it.

Less hard with age is normal. And losing it when told it's not hard is normal.

If it continues, you need to see a doctor to rule out life-threatening things. About a quarter of men your age have some level of ED, so it could be your body.

BTW, you can both give and receive an orgasm without an erection. Talk to your wife and decide how you will keep going if your erection does not.

[Yotes]

I started have issues around 40, too. I took Sildenifil (Viagra) for a while, until it quit working. The main downfall was having to plan ahead and the stuffiness. It worked about 10-12 years.

I then tried Cialis, first as needed, then daily. It worked better than Viagra, but I couldn't sleep due to being stuffed up. I use a CPAP which didn't help. It did give me a LOT of night and morning erections, but they didn't last past a few seconds of feeling them, and I still couldn't get hard on demand.

I then tried Trimix injections. NOPE: I'm apparently allergic to it and though I did get a good erection at a higher dose, sex was painful, and I spent 2 hours with an icebag. My urologist was surprised by this as he said it's uncommon.

Not to be a downer, but most others have tried these same things with GREAT results. Talk to your doctor or urologist. There are options.

I have Venous leakage so rings and pumps don't work any more, either, but they did. Try them and other toys.

My next step is an inflatable penile implant which has a 98% satisfaction. My current insurance doesn't cover it, bt I'm working on that. Worst case is I'll get it when on Medicare.

Hang in there! There are many things to try. My wife and I are still very intimate and cuddle a lot. We give each other hand jobs and oral, though I seldom orgasm. But I love her and realise that as much as I love sex, I don't have to have it.

[Mike smith]

Yotes, I just read your posts re erection difficulties,... have you had your testosterone checked, I have been on testosterone for many years and I guess it works, I'm still functioning.