Anyone have any PE solutions that work?

[Nate Othree]

Congrats man! Sounds like your wife has definitely helped the situation as well. Team effort! Thanks for the update!

[Slacktide]

I read through this thread pretty quickly so hopefully I didn't miss it, but I didn't see any discussion of the pelvic floor. IMO that is the biggest factor in ejaculation control. I definitely used to struggle with PE early in our marriage, and after doing a mountain of research was able to discover that I was kegeling hard the entire time we were PIV. Once I learned to relax and not do that I could last longer and longer.

My advice would be to practice reverse kegels as often as you can. If a kegel is a "pulling up" / clench, then reverse kegel is a "pushing" / relax.

Talk time you having sex really focus on this and try to have a neutral pelvic floor. It's takes some practice but will definitely help.

[MrMarried]

I am at my wit's end with PE. Does anyone have any suggestions that actually work?

Don't say prayer. It doesn't help. Don't ask me how I know.

Don't say edging. I can masturbate for 15 minutes straight without ejaculating, but I lose all control the minute I enter my wife because they are not the same thing at all.

Don't say start-stop technique. It just increases DW's resentment to continually interrupt the flow of lovemaking. She can't get into a groove.

Don't say masturbating before starting. Do it once, it makes no difference because it's not the same as PIV. Do it twice, I can't get aroused at all. Also, masturbation is degrading and I hate it.

Don't say the squeeze. If you mean squeezing with my hand, that's physically impossible. If you mean squeezing my PC muscle, it doesn't work.

What have you got, TMB?

Old post here, but in the OP, why would masturbating once not being the same as PIV mean it doesn't work? How about if she gives you a hand job, you recover a bit, and then have a go at it? The wife would have to be willing.

I have a book I'd seen as a teen that I found in a bookstore right after getting married. I bought it. It's one of the Extended Sexual Orgasm books by Alan P. Bauer. Basically it involves doing a ridiculously high number different kinds of Kegels, quick flinches, long holds, then a 'push out' Kegel that is used as 'the breaks' for when you want to decrease arousal. The training program does involve edging, first masturbation, then 30-minute manual stimulation for both partners, and integrating what is learned into intercourse. It teaches male and female how to experience much higher states of sexual pleasure.

Another thing, also in the book or another of his books, is for the man to train himself to keep getting stimulated and stay hard after ejaculation and keep on going.

If you can learn to thrust through the sensitivity (which subsides if you get stimulated after ejaculation), you can keep on going. It is a lot easier to do this in WOT position, since after ejaculation, tendons in hips, legs, etc. can feel a lot more tired. My wife and I used to have the bed fairly close to a wall and had a chest of drawers there, our bed had memory foam on it, so it worked out for me to stand by the bed while she rested her legs. Thrusting through after orgasm isn't that hard in a standing position compared to squatting. With good stimulation, it might be able to keep 90+% of an erection. Woman on top stimulation is the best, IMO, for post-ejaculatory intercourse, because I can put my hands on her behind, feel her thrusting, and focus on how good her body feels.

A penis ring might help with that also, though it can make post-ejaculatory sensitivity a bit more 'annoying' feeling. Always tense up the penis 'flexing' it up before putting on the ring to make it at it's maximum fullness before putting a flexible penis ring on. That also helps with sensitivity due to post-ejaculatory thrusting.

I used to enjoy post-ejaculatory stimulation when I was hypersensitive, but that was something that had to be done to me, rather than something I'd do to myself. But post-ejaculatory thrusting if it isn't sensitive doesn't feel as good and as 'interesting' as pre-ejaculatory. Pre-ejaculation, it's like the hips move themselves, eagerly working toward a goal. Afterward, it can be a bit of a struggle and a chore. This sort of thing is not the same as preventing premature ejaculation, but it can extend intercourse if that is your main concern, and you don't have to be concerned about a rhythm that feels good to you making you ejaculate before she reaches orgasm, because you have already ejaculated. It can be possible to keep on thrusting through the refractory period until it starts to feel good again and go for a second ejaculation, especially if you can use some Kegels to tighten up and increase your arousal. When I've done that with my wife, she's usually not that interested in sex by the time I'm finished, so we rarely have done that.

It's very rare my wife wants to keep going with intercourse after I ejaculate, so some of my abilities seem sort of wasted. And I haven't done this sort of thing in years, so I don't know if I've lost it with age.