Mutual Masturbation

[DDuffy8526]

This is my attempt to get this Sex for Boomers segment reignited.

Let’s hear from men, and particularly women, about their interest and active participation in mutual masturbation.

Do you engage in it as the “main event?”
Is it a vital aspect of foreplay?
Do you do it at the same time or does one go first and then the other?
What is it about mutual masturbation that is so alluring?

My wife and I are in our mid-seventies and have sex twice a week. I solo masturbate about as often when she is shopping or playing tennis. I often fantasize about her coming home and catching me jerking off.

Recently, during foreplay I’ve moved my hand from her clit
to my penis, joining her in jerking myself off for a while. Then, I resume fingering her before PIV. I’d love for her to finger herself while I take over with my penis.
Any experience with making this happen?

[rambler]

My DW and I are late 70's. After a full body massage, I will use a wand on her, with her help. When it's my turn, she gives me a BJ and/or HJ while I use a prostate massager. PIV has become very difficult/impossible due to various issues. I can see the appeal of mutual masturbation, but I don't see that happening, since wife & I are probably both too inhibited.

[DesertDweller]

We are in our 70's, and mutual masturbation is something we have done since shortly after we were married. We had a conversation about masturbating, which led to a show & tell for both of us, and we just added it to the things to do list years ago!

So, to your questions:
Is it the main event?
Sometimes, and more these days than ever, but more often it's followed up by 'regular' sex! We are not a one & done couple.

Is it 'vital' to foreplay?
Not really, although it is sometimes part of our foreplay.

Same time or one after the other?
Most of the time we do it at the same time. I usually control my orgasm to happen when she starts having hers. Simultaneous orgasms! How fun is that!

What is so alluring about it?
I imagine that varies person to person, but I just get turned on watching my DW pulling on her nipples and fingering or toying her pussy! It makes me want to get ahold of myself when she gets ahold of herself! No explanation necessary.....it just turns me on. She feels the same while watching me!
It's also educational. One of the things I was lousy at years ago, was fingering DW to O. She said, "here......watch me" and gave me lessons! I got better at it by watching her! (I requested additional training!)

I'm sure catching each other masturbating varies person to person too, but we have caught each other, and about all those times we did, it led to some really fantastic and intense sex! (I can tell stories!) As it is, mutual masturbation is extremely hot for me & DW, but something about catching the other makes it all the more hotter, especially when I'm, or her, is not seen right off!

As far as getting her to take over her own stimulation while you stroke yourself, you should just ask her. Let her know that the idea gets you all wound up, and you want to try it! My DW & I never really had any inhibitions or embarrassment about it, so I guess it's easy for me to say, but if you don't talk about it, it may well never happen.

[Ron]

Mid 60's and yes we mutually masturbate. Wife got over the embarrassment several years ago and we both enjoy it. It is easier than full PIV sex for sure.

It is the main event. We don't do a lot of PIV sex, but do occasionally. Neither of us miss it.

We still practice, "She Cums First". I always go second.

[Gandalfthewhite]

Mutual masturbation is part of our routine every single day, and oral about 3 times a week but nothing substitutes piv

[Olorin]

DW and I are 'boomers' : I am 65 and DW is 61.

If mutual masturbation is defined as only self pleasuring (only touching oneself), then we don't do this. However, once or twice a year we will arrange for both of us to cum at the same time by her grinding on her wand while I finger her, while she simultaneously uses her hand on me. This is fun, but our usual patterns include the following:

1) When she wants to cum she uses a wand on herself while I finger her, and then I finish by PIV. She can't orgasm from PIV, but she enjoys PIV more after she has an orgasm.

2) On days when she is not into PIV, she will give me OS as foreplay and then finish me with her hand. Her giving me OS is a new activity that started this year! This should give people hope that it is possible for spouses to grow sexually even after 35 years of marriage. Next goal is to have her become comfortable with me giving her OS.

3) On days when she is tired and I am horny, I will massage her feet, legs, etc. and then she will 'pose' for me as I 'finish' myself. I should add that me providing her a massage is often part of (1) and (2).

Just about all our sex-play happens in the morning. We always do #1 on Saturday morning, and then sometimes on another morning during the week. The rest of our sex-play is split between #2 and #3. In total, we probably have sexy time 3 times a week, sometimes 4 depending on how busy we are.

[Ever_Hopeful]

DW and I are 'boomers' : I am 65 and DW is 61.

Next goal is to have her become comfortable with me giving her OS.

Sweet!

I've said this before, but I absolutely love giving DW OS. Whenever I do, I tell her either during or afterward that I could do it for hours, and every day, if she let me. It never gets old, and is, in my opinion, one of the most intimate things a husband can do for his wife.

Hope she comes around to not only letting you do that for her, but enjoying it, wanting it, asking you for it. You'll both be glad she did, and she'll probably wish she'd done it sooner.

(Maybe tease her some by venturing close and build her curiosity & anticipation...?)

[Olorin]

DW and I are 'boomers' : I am 65 and DW is 61.

Next goal is to have her become comfortable with me giving her OS.

Sweet!

I've said this before, but I absolutely love giving DW OS. Whenever I do, I tell her either during or afterward that I could do it for hours, and every day, if she let me. It never gets old, and is, in my opinion, one of the most intimate things a husband can do for his wife.

Hope she comes around to not only letting you do that for her, but enjoying it, wanting it, asking you for it. You'll both be glad she did, and she'll probably wish she'd done it sooner.

(Maybe tease her some by venturing close and build her curiosity & anticipation...?)

I would love to be able to give DW OS even for a few minutes without her squirming all over the bed! I am not sure if it is really her being ticklish, or her just being uncomfortable with the idea of me using my mouth on her vulva. It could be I need to use stronger stimulation to avoid her feeling like she is being ticklish. I am looking forward to trying this out when we are on vacation in a few weeks.

[SallyMae]

Remains fascinating how different we are from each other and what we enjoy and what we somehow are squish about. Far too much guilt mainly spread by religion.

[Liverrr]

Mid 60's and yes we mutually masturbate. Wife got over the embarrassment several years ago and we both enjoy it. It is easier than full PIV sex for sure.

It is the main event. We don't do a lot of PIV sex, but do occasionally. Neither of us miss it.

We still practice, "She Cums First". I always go second.

This is exactly the same as us in just about every aspect
Other than we still enjoy intercourse.
Also, with mutual masturbation - I always use my magic wand. He will sometimes use my wand or a different toy or his hand.