Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
We used to fight a lot about it and get our feelings hurt. Now we just kinda accept it and stopped getting any hopes up for anything more. We Avg. twice a month. Some months up to 4 times but other months - zero. I would very much like more and try to initiate 2-3 times a week but get shut down with a “no”. I feel guilty being more direct about saying what I want, since I’ve had ED problems for many years and feel like I can’t ask for anything since I can’t keep it up for PIV. She doesn’t really want anymore or is willing try anything else anyway at this point. I have learned to manually stimulate her in ways that she enjoys and she always gets at least one orgasm usually multiples. But that never translates into greater desire. After she’s done with orgasms then she gives me a hand job. But there’s never any acknowledgement of “that was nice” or “I liked that” etc. She has told me she disapproves of me masturbating without her. Which I feel is unreasonable. I do “edge” sometimes without her (and without her knowledge) but refrain from ejaculating to honor her wishes. (Sort of) it’s frustrating. It’s both gratifying and hurts to read about all the marriages who enjoy sex together so much.
However, she has vaginismus. She had this in 2016 and for over a year took hormones (progesterone, etc) and we could do coital again. Then she had headaches and stopped the hormones and pain is back...no coital (PIV). I was jobless from 20010 to 20017 and she resents her having to go back to work. Now we are on welfare and I think (just me) that she resents me for those years and her sense of a lack of financial security took away her sexual desire and her desire to fix the low sex desire. (again, I think this is it) Her inability to care about our sex life, the affects sexual activity has to "connect us" is not on her mind and so believes I just don't need sex because she doesn't. Its just a boring bed.
That's awesome! Sounds like you are enjoying having an empty nest!
That empty nest opens off SO many opportunities..... Glad to hear your report.