Well played, well played.
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One of my adult kids usually calls the shots with scheduling breakfast or Christmas dinner and DW usually allows it which makes for a nervous morning and no Christmas morning sex or nudity as she has this visit of his wife and kids coming over on her mind.
Matter of fact, I looked into my weekly journal and it seems that all of December for the last 5 years or longer have been like this leading to a lack of any satisfying sexual encounter and dampening our marriage relationship all of November and December every year. any complaint I make falls back on me as I am the instigator of all my sexual woes. At 59 I'm giving up. Not sure what that looks like, but a distance between results. She has her emotional tank full from caring for our special needs kids and foster kids. My tank remains empty and I have no way of filling it.
Money is good as our cash from welfare continues. but we are not close. We behave as adults, care for kids, fix and maintain the house after 35+ yrs of marriage, but I do not like spending time with her just for her. Sex on a predictable basis would help but we are far from that. She is still at hospital with one of our kids as I write this and scolds me via text for how I care for kids.
I wish my journal could one day say, "great Holliday season, at our age great sex on a predictable and satisfying level for both (means she was there), great togetherness, money good, job is good health good."