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What Draws Women To Porn?

Addiction, fantasy, habitual masturbation ...
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mkzv
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What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by mkzv »

In the light of recent post "Is Porn An Addiction?" a question came to my mind what draws ladies to watch porn? if it does at all, and do you have recurrence from time to time? Is it any different when you were/still single or when married? I understand that women see and think differently than men, so I want to listen to what you have to say.
Last edited by SeekingChange on Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Added the link to the referenced post
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Re: What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by SeekingChange »

Those are some good questions!

A while back I watched a message where the preacher was speaking on porn, and one thing he pointed out with women, is often the reason they start watching is a little different than men. Often times a woman goes seeking it to "learn" or for "educational purposes". Maybe they want to learn how to do a technique better. That's when the hook can get to them.

In our first year of marriage, I know it was at my suggestion that we watched some. I don't recall the exact appeal to it, other than I know it aroused me and helped me desire sex. Over the years, I have been more tempted by erotica than by videos. I have seen a connection to there being a "lack" in the relationship, feeling lonely can be a trigger for many.
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Re: What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by DoveGrey »

Very early in our marriage, we watched it together a couple of times. It wasn't really my thing, and he said he could take it or leave it. So we left it. On my part, it was more out of curiosity than anything else. Perhaps there was a little interest in technique. However, those are actors. It was pretty apparent to me that they were putting on a performance strictly for the audience. I thought it was comical.

Erotica is something different where women are concerned. You can read a book and it allows you to escape your life for a bit. You could have a great marriage, but maybe you're just stressed and want to get into someone else's mind for a while. I will occasionally pick up a romance novel just because they're easy to read, they're formulaic, and if the sex is too much I just flip the page. I usually have 3 books going: 1 for work, 1 for personal edification, and a "feel good" book that helps me fall asleep at night.

But what I read probably isn't considered erotica. Those are the ones that have a sex scene almost every chapter. I've read a couple of those - not all the way through because the writing's usually hideous and I just don't get the point. Women I've talked to who are into those books are either lonely or aren't happy with what's happening in their beds. Different sides of the same coin, really.

I did once meet a woman who read erotica just so she'd have something to talk about with the other Girl Scout moms. That was a sad case. She was the only member of the group who didn't read, and she just wanted to fit in. Trouble was, everyone else was reading books that you could have conversations about with children in the room. And no one thought it was appropriate. Poor thing.
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Re: What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by LBD »

My DW had always been averse to most anything that could be characterized as pornographic. But I have noticed some change over the years. No, she’s not a user of any kind, visual or literature, but where she once used to always scoff and fast-forward thru any nudity or even non-nude sex scene in a movie, now she will tolerate some of them. And a few times recently there has been some unusually enthusiastic sex that followed us watching movies that had some “tasteful” sex scenes. “Tasteful” is in quotes on purpose because I understand many would say none of it is appropriate or tasteful. But what I describe would not normally be what I would characterize as hardcore porn, that’s all I mean. So it seemed to me that it had some affect on her that was at least not negative. Maybe it was all a coincidence, and I have not asked her specifically about it. I’m not worried about it in any way. For the most part, I usually feel uncomfortable when those scenes come on in her presence and often just get up to “get a drink” or go to the bathroom. But if she seems a little turned on after the movie, I don’t complain.


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Re: What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by PaulB »

Science says porn arouses a woman's body. She may or may not feel aroused between her ears, but between her legs she is.

Just like men, this is basic biology, and her feelings about sex and porn don't change it. It's like cocaine, being opposed to it won't keep you from getting high if someone makes you use it.

So that could certainly be a draw. It can also be a source of significant cognitive dissidence. She may fear her arousal means all kinds of things about her that are not the case.

Watching porn will turn a woman on, make it more likely she will orgasm, and probably mean a stronger orgasm. However, it can also mess her up in a lot of ways and trash her sex life long term.
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Re: What Draws Women To Porn?

Post by LBD »

PaulB wrote: Tue Feb 16, 2021 10:41 am ... It's like cocaine,...
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. -Thomas Sowell
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