Happily married yet thinking about another man.

[rubenspiere]

I have been happily married for 10 years. I really love my wife and we have great sex but Lately I have been having thoughts of oral sex with another man.
It is not always like that but every now and then memories from a past relationship I had in my younger days come to my mind and the desire sets in.
Wondering if there is some one who feels the same way...
Anyway, this is something I don't talk about with anyone for obvious reasons.
care to discuss the topic?

[PaulB]

I have been happily married for 10 years. I really love my wife and we have great sex but Lately I have been having thoughts of oral sex with another man.
It is not always like that but every now and then memories from a past relationship I had in my younger days come to my mind and the desire sets in.
Wondering if there is some one who feels the same way...

Personally, no. But I have a good friend who is SSA and happily married to a woman he loves. And enjoys sexually. So I has a clue.

Are you feeling drawn to particular men, or just the idea of it?

Is this because of issues, sexual or otherwise with your wife? Do you feel depressed? Are you worried or stressed?

[clearbluesky]

Sometimes this comes from a vicious cycle of OCD/scrupulosity: the thought appears, you perform a ritual to stop it, feel guilty, then trying not to think about it makes it come back — like the “don’t think of pink elephants” effect.

I’m not an expert, but consider a therapist who uses ERP: clinical studies of trauma and anxiety (including work with WWII veterans) showed that avoidance and suppression strategies used in the past—telling soldiers to “just stop thinking about it”—often maintained distress rather than resolving it. ERP teaches you to let the thought occur without judgment or panic so it naturally fades. Many of us were raised to just “cut that out,” which prevents learning healthier ways to process difficult feelings.

[rubenspiere]

I have been happily married for 10 years. I really love my wife and we have great sex but Lately I have been having thoughts of oral sex with another man.
It is not always like that but every now and then memories from a past relationship I had in my younger days come to my mind and the desire sets in.
Wondering if there is some one who feels the same way...

Personally, no. But I have a good friend who is SSA and happily married to a woman he loves. And enjoys sexually. So I has a clue.

Are you feeling drawn to particular men, or just the idea of it?

Is this because of issues, sexual or otherwise with your wife? Do you feel depressed? Are you worried or stressed?

Thanks for your reply,
I am not attracted to any man in particular. Just the thought of oral sex is very strong for me.

[Crow]

If you are happily married and having great sex, I wouldn't worry too much. I’m attracted to other women, and it doesn't affect my marriage or my happiness.

Does your wife giving you oral sex help to satisfy the receiving side?

Have you tried giving oral sex to your wife after you've ejaculated inside her? That may satisfy curiosity about one aspect of giving. Many of us on this forum have done this and enjoy it. If you haven't tried it, it can be exciting and playful.