Husband lusted after my sister

[OnlyByGrace]

A four year old post and the member has only ever made one post... this one.

No matter what our thoughts are, my guess is that they were a troll who didn't get the response they thought they would get.

[DaveW]

This belief that sex is dirty and desire is abnormal or sinful has to end.

Agreed. God created it for us to enjoy. It is His gift to mankind. (one of His many gifts)

Had she found her husband and sister in bed naked having PIV, sure she should be thinking the way she is.

I would put the line way back of PIV. Any physical sexual contact at all, or even discussing having sex together would cross the line for me.

But your sister is hot and turned your husband on? Sorry but that is like saying the sun rises in the east. Rather my husband admit things that are normal then be liar and say, no that hot girl does not turn me on. It is an automatic reaction for men. If it stops working he needs to see a doctor. What we do about it after is based on our beliefs. If we believe any action outside of marriage is wrong then learning to control desires is needed. But to not have them? Might as well ask a man not to breathe.

Or a woman. Despite what our culture says, the bible sees women as MORE sexual and desire driven than men. Song of Solomon is way more expressing HER desires and pleasures than his.

In fact, it even talks about how women being visually stimulated can be used wrongly. This is in metaphor, that Judah and Israel are sisters and going after what they see.

Ezekiel 23:20
She [Oholah = Israel] lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

FYI "flesh" refers to the size of male genitals and "issue" means volume of ejaculate.

So God also knows that women can be visually turned on as well as men. It is society that says otherwise. There was a reason that God told Aaron and sons to wear underwear and not go up to an elevated altar.
Exodus 20:26 Leviticus 6:10, 16:4

[DaveW]

A four year old post and the member has only ever made one post... this one.
No matter what our thoughts are, my guess is that they were a troll who didn't get the response they thought they would get.

A drive-by poster.

[IntimateMoment]

Ezekiel 23:20
She [Oholah = Israel] lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

FYI "flesh" refers to the size of male genitals and "issue" means volume of ejaculate.

So God also knows that women can be visually turned on as well as men. It is society that says otherwise. There was a reason that God told Aaron and sons to wear underwear and not go up to an elevated altar.
Exodus 20:26 Leviticus 6:10, 16:4

Trying to clear my mind of the Donkey sized man.

I think that is just an early misunderstood thinking about women that later resulted in hospitalizing women with sexual desire. Its clear men have stronger sex drives because they can literally go forth and multiply by impregnating dozens of women while a woman is pretty much stuck with one pregnancy a year plus.

remember these versus were written by men with extremely limited knowledge.

As for Solomon, 400 wives and 300 concubines and who knows what kind of sex parties to satsify all of them and no great flood or fire and brimstone? Must mean God did not find their actions regarding sex as very sinful. Maybe meaning if you had the power and wealth to support all those wives and raise all those children, that his concerns over sex outside of marriage were not aplicable.

Donkey?

[Paradox]

Please don't leave your husband over this. He could have lied, and kept this matter secret, but he chose to be vulnerable.
I have been with my wife for nearly four decades. I have learned that when I see an object (such as a belly) that makes me lust, I immediately think of my wife's belly. When someone on this venue says they had wonderful sex with their incredible wife, and all the things she did to him, I think about what my wife does for me.
Simple arousal over a body part or a general act, is not adultery. Adultery is when a person is not only excited by a glimpse of a body part, but it is when I want everything about a woman, and I want to know their heart, mind and body.
There have been many times when my arousal was handled by me finding solitude to masturbate, thinking about my wife, and not the thing that excited me, so that I can clear my mind and move on without distraction.
Forgive your sister, too. She was not flaunting her physique to your husband: she was having a post-workout refreshment in your home that you invited her to join. She was not flashing body parts behind your back in order to titillate your husband.
Forgive your husband. Forgive yourself. Forgive your sister. Don't blame yourself or your yeast infection. If you think your husband is needing sexual release, take care of him yourself or tell him it is OK to masturbate. You can get through this!

[eldorado]

If this wasnt a troll the wife mentioning this to her sister was mind bending stupid.A time to speak and a time to remain silent would apply here.

[IntimateMoment]

If this wasnt a troll the wife mentioning this to her sister was mind bending stupid.A time to speak and a time to remain silent would apply here.

I have known women that are that messed up that they actually are threatened by their husband finding another women attractive. Its natural and in the DNA, you want them to be hypocrites and pretend they only find you sexy? I see a pretty girl in a restaraunt I have no problem pointing out to my husband that her dress flatters her cleavage, or her legs look great in that short skirt, or I wish my boobs were still as perky as hers. I have no fear he is going to run off with some random women. And if he is at home later and horny and masturbates thinking of a girl in the restaraunt I hope he gets offf. And no it makes no difference if its my sister, my mother, or his boss. As long as its a fantasy in the brain its a good thing, not evil.

[DaveW]

Trying to clear my mind of the Donkey sized man.

LOL.

remember these versus were written by men with extremely limited knowledge.

No. Those verses were written by men who were quoting what God told them; God who has UNLIMITED knowledge.

As for Solomon, 400 wives and 300 concubines and who knows what kind of sex parties to satisfy all of them and no great flood or fire and brimstone? Must mean God did not find their actions regarding sex as very sinful. Maybe meaning if you had the power and wealth to support all those wives and raise all those children, that his concerns over sex outside of marriage were not applicable.

No - what Solomon did was very sinful, because God had specific commands for kings:

Deuteronomy 17:16
Moreover, he [the king] shall not multiply horses for himself, nor shall he cause the people to return to Egypt to multiply horses, since the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never again return that way.’ 17 He shall not multiply wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away; nor shall he greatly increase silver and gold for himself.

[IntimateMoment]

Trying to clear my mind of the Donkey sized man.

LOL.

remember these versus were written by men with extremely limited knowledge.

No. Those verses were written by men who were quoting what God told them; God who has UNLIMITED knowledge.

Inspired word of God is very different from quoted. Written by each man limited by his falacies and knowledge.

[Lightbulb]

I also talked to some ladies at my church and they agreed with my sister. they said my husband committed adultery according to Matthew 5:28-29 and he had violated our marriage covenant. I also brought up that I had not had sex with him for a few days because of a yeast infection. They said it wasn't relevant and that I was "excusing rape."

I realize this is an old and cold thread with no return visit from the original poster, but this particular clause sort of perplexed me. I know Jesus set the bar very high for us as far as what constitutes sin. In the eyes of God, sin is sin and lusting after another woman in your heart is adultery in His eyes. But I think the point of this passage in the Bible is to help us understand the standard, not to give us grounds for divorce. A few verses earlier Jesus elaborates on murder and says anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. But I would never tell my wife, "hey, you're angry with me, that makes you just as much a sinner as if you murdered me." God set the standard of perfection higher, but I think the purpose is to point us to the need for atonement. In other words, I think Jesus is saying "if you think you are reconciled to God by virtue of not sinning, you just don't understand how high the mark is". I expect my wife not to murder me, but I would never expect her to go the rest of our lives without getting mad at me or thinking I'm a fool some time after I did something stupid.

Our wedding vows were to forsake all others. That is to abandon or desert. I certainly would have never made a vow to never find someone else attractive, but that I wouldn't yield to that attraction seems more in line with what I thought I was vowing. Thoughts?