Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin?
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PaulB
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by PaulB »

For years Sheet Music was my go to. And it's still excellent.

But now I think https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08ZMB5GK1/re ... TF8&btkr=1 is even better. The large number of examples from many couples make it a rich resource. It also nails both the scripture and the science.
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Irnmyk
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by Irnmyk »

Because I am not familiar with Sheet Music, having only been introduced to it on this Board, my first choice would be "Married Sex", the book in the link posted by PaulB in the post immediately above.

I stated in another thread recently that if I could - and I know that I can't - I would hand a copy of it to every young married or about to be married couple at our church.
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by newwifenewlife »

Do a search for some engagement ideas. I’ve previously posted the following ideas elsewhere…

These are some easy podcast episodes to start with on SEXY MARRIAGE RADIO.
Episode 95: Honeymoon Sex
Episode 190: Wedding Night Tips
Episode 349: Becoming Cliterate
Episode 454: The Female Orgasm
Episode 494: Don't Be Ilcliterate

We also had a book DW wanted to go through to prepare for our honeymoon and marriage…..It was great because it asked a bunch of questions. She read it first and we waited for the most part to talk about it until we were 2-3 wks from the wedding but TBH, we'd already had some of the topics/discussions previously as a part of our dating, pre-engagement process, and engagement. I'll see if we still have it or gave it to another couple to prepare for their wedding. It was older & not a well-known book but so good for ideas.

The book DW picked to go through before we married was ONE FLESH by Amelia & Greg Clarke. It helps discuss sex and help with setting sexpectations. We really enjoyed it.
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by MrEden »

Unfortunately, I feel that Married Sex is not a substitute for Sheet Music. The books really serve different audiences. Sheet Music is geared towards newlyweds. Married Sex is geared more towards a general audience.

We received Married Sex when we signed up for the Married Sex Conference. https://www.marriedsexconference.com/ It is a good book, no question. We have been married 40 years and still learned from it. It is excellent in how it deals with the relationship and emotional aspects of married sex. And granted, it is geared for a general audience and does not assume any prior knowledge about sex. It has a footnote explaining what foreplay is 🙄. As pointed out in the book, a lot of married people are woefully ignorant about sex. Debra Felita's research shows that 25% of married couples do not get ANY premarital sex information.

However, Married Sex is woefully inadequate as an only source of premarital sex information. The words "kegel" and "hymen" do not appear in the book. There is no advice for first intercourse. Oral sex is discussed, but the word "semen" does not appear anywhere in the book. There are no anatomical diagrams. They refer to the "vulva" as the "vagina." They admit that "vulva" is the proper word, but in several instances, because of the ambiguity of the way they use "vagina", it is not clear what they are talking about. "Frenulum" is mentioned, but is described as "the top, spongy part of the penis." That's not where mine is 🤣.

Sheet Music should not be the only source of premarital sex education either of course. When we got married there was no Sheet Music. We relied on secular sources, and did not lose our morals as a result. But given the reluctance of evangelicals to have any discussion about sex (which I believe has gotten worse over the last 40 years, BTW) secular sources are not something that a lot of Christians would read. Had Sheet Music been available when we needed it, it would no doubt have been our primary source.

So, I would say ideally to read Married Sex first, then Sheet Music. Married Sex will provide a great introduction. But if you are going to only read one of the two books, definitely go for Sheet Music.
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by MrEden »

Oops. I just noticed the date of the post I replied to 😳. I saw your "Returning" post, remembered the user name and checked out your other posts. I forgot that some posts made it here from the old TMB.

Anyway, welcome back!

I trust your daughter and husband have it figured out by now 🙂.
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PaulB
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by PaulB »

MrEden wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 12:23 pm Unfortunately, I feel that Married Sex is not a substitute for Sheet Music. The books really serve different audiences. Sheet Music is geared towards newlyweds. Married Sex is geared more towards a general audience.
A fair assessment. Not that Sheet Music is perfect for premarital either. All the specifically premarital stuff I have seen is horrible, IMHO.
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Re: Engaged Daughter. Favorite Resources?

Post by strawberryblonde »

Thank you all for replying to my 2019 post. 😂 Seriously. This is still valuable info.
I was just going back to see if any of my old posts have survived all the changes here in recent years. I think this was the only one left, so I’m pretty well assured of anonymity if the newlyweds wander in. 😁
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