When to talk about certain things:

[Deleted User 4990]

Past relationships we talked about once we started to become serious and I held nothing back, whatever hubby wanted to know I told him and he was the same with me. We both had histories and I think it is better to be honest and lay all the facts out there early on.

I have a friend who had been quite sexually active through high school but when she met who she thought was 'the one' she didn't mention any of it, just that she had had a few boyfriends but nothing very serious. It was only after they were engaged a few years later that he found out about her past and couldn't cope with it and eventually broke off the engagement.

I thought that most boys masturbated and looked at porn as they were growing up and that there was nothing to be concerned about if they did. Likewise, I thought that most girls masturbated as well learning about our bodies as we developed.

Having been viewing here for a while before joining I think the kinks one is a difficult one. What is a kink? To some people oral sex is a kink, to me, it is a normal part of a healthy sex life, some think using toys is a kink, or some light bondage, while others think it is normal. Also, unless both have had sexual experiences it is difficult to know what you may actually like or not like.

[SallyMae]

I have a friend who had been quite sexually active through high school but when she met who she thought was 'the one' she didn't mention any of it, just that she had had a few boyfriends but nothing very serious. It was only after they were engaged a few years later that he found out about her past and couldn't cope with it and eventually broke off the engagement.

That is very typical. I knew several girls that were with guys in HS and or college that suddenly were virgins again. If I had to bet over half of girls that claim they only held hands in previous relationships lied. We double dated with enough to know what happened in the back seat. Maybe they were better off not telling. I know at least two very happy couples married for 15 years or more where the husband still doesn’t know and probably never will. Not my business to tell.

I never would have married someone that expected me to be untouched. But no reason to broadcast it on the first date.

[Ron]

I never would have married someone that expected me to be untouched. But no reason to broadcast it on the first date.

Exactly.

[J2025]

We talked about all of the OP's subjects from the get go. We were "old" when we met (29 and 36), so both rather immune to be schocked by that point.