Laura How has a few great videos on this subject. Here's one: https://youtu.be/luBuUAkBc-Y?si=YemFrjtJwDpzHFei
And another, for wives:
https://youtu.be/G5khn59jblA?si=MZENY-fKZxeI4hnO
Always Learning - Hello Again
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overtherainbow
- Double
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Always Learning
- Single
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2026 9:42 am
Re: Always Learning - Hello Again
Thank you all for the suggestions on how to improve my current situation.
Like most men, myself included, we all think that there is some magic, silver bullet that will fix things. Which of course there isn't. This is going to take a lot of prayers, work, and a total transformation of the heart, mind, and soul. I'm more than willing to do what it takes to improve the marriage. The big question now remains, is my wife willing to do the same? In the past, I've shown her articles and videos on how important a good sex life is to a marriage. But her response to me for doing that was anger and resentment.
And, boy this is rich...for her to tell me that our sex life was just fine. It's so frustrating. I've always been the higher drive spouse and I sometimes wonder if a person with little libido to begin with, will see it gradually diminish over the years to where it becomes non-existent.
I still reach out and hug my wife, give her kisses, give her caresses etc. but get no response. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on touching her at all because that seems to be what she wants.
Like most men, myself included, we all think that there is some magic, silver bullet that will fix things. Which of course there isn't. This is going to take a lot of prayers, work, and a total transformation of the heart, mind, and soul. I'm more than willing to do what it takes to improve the marriage. The big question now remains, is my wife willing to do the same? In the past, I've shown her articles and videos on how important a good sex life is to a marriage. But her response to me for doing that was anger and resentment.
And, boy this is rich...for her to tell me that our sex life was just fine. It's so frustrating. I've always been the higher drive spouse and I sometimes wonder if a person with little libido to begin with, will see it gradually diminish over the years to where it becomes non-existent.
I still reach out and hug my wife, give her kisses, give her caresses etc. but get no response. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on touching her at all because that seems to be what she wants.
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Yummy17
- California King
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- Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2023 7:54 pm
Re: Always Learning - Hello Again
The anger and resentment speak volumes. Is she willing to work on change in other areas of her life? It’s certainly not righteous anger. It would be excellent if either by accident or on purpose another wife could “encourage” her in TMB but without being pushy just generally of how good it is for both.Always Learning wrote: ↑Sun Oct 04, 2026 5:28 am Thank you all for the suggestions on how to improve my current situation.
Like most men, myself included, we all think that there is some magic, silver bullet that will fix things. Which of course there isn't. This is going to take a lot of prayers, work, and a total transformation of the heart, mind, and soul. I'm more than willing to do what it takes to improve the marriage. The big question now remains, is my wife willing to do the same? In the past, I've shown her articles and videos on how important a good sex life is to a marriage. But her response to me for doing that was anger and resentment.
And, boy this is rich...for her to tell me that our sex life was just fine. It's so frustrating. I've always been the higher drive spouse and I sometimes wonder if a person with little libido to begin with, will see it gradually diminish over the years to where it becomes non-existent.
I still reach out and hug my wife, give her kisses, give her caresses etc. but get no response. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on touching her at all because that seems to be what she wants.
Your last paragraph is particularly sad. I don’t suppose you know the reason why? Even if touch isn’t her “love language “ it’s still so important. The way it is for us all. Like with children kisses, hugs etc.
Maybe. Not sure about the low libido going lower.
One can certainly do things to help yourself.
Like extra support after kids or sleep.
Hoping for your situation to change.
An additional thought. In any other area of life, say losing weight, learning a new craft, tidying a messy room, lowering blood pressure, toilet training a child or anything that she considers “has” to be done or fixed would she give up on it? Or keep trying to work through what is needed.
It almost sounds like she has some kind of grudge against you. Or is behaving like this as payback. I could be totally wrong.
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Always Learning
- Single
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- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2026 9:42 am
Re: Always Learning - Hello Again
Okay, I'll be generous here
Something else I've considered, with a lifetime of no positive affirmation from her mother, low libido, weight gain, and being post menopausal, perhaps she's battling depression and because of that it makes everything in life seem overwhelming. She does, by the way, get very easily overwhelmed.
A person feeling like the walls are closing in on them from every direction is definitely going to be immediately concerned about their present state and all other matters go by the wayside. Even those things in life that once gave them pleasure, like sex.
I've confided to some of my male coworkers about this, many of who went through it themselves. They said it was a difficult time in their lives but things eventually got better. But they also said unfortunately that there is no time frame on how long it takes for a woman to have a change of heart, because each woman is wired differently. It could be many years before I see a change. I hope not. But I have to accept that fact.
There's something else I have to consider. When my wife finally has a change of heart and wants to resume having a healthy sex life, will I be able to perform to meet her desire? Or, will every hurtful thing she ever said come back to memory and I'll be dead below the waist because I can't be aroused by a woman who was so catty and emasculating?
I don't know. Only time will tell.
Something else I've considered, with a lifetime of no positive affirmation from her mother, low libido, weight gain, and being post menopausal, perhaps she's battling depression and because of that it makes everything in life seem overwhelming. She does, by the way, get very easily overwhelmed.
A person feeling like the walls are closing in on them from every direction is definitely going to be immediately concerned about their present state and all other matters go by the wayside. Even those things in life that once gave them pleasure, like sex.
I've confided to some of my male coworkers about this, many of who went through it themselves. They said it was a difficult time in their lives but things eventually got better. But they also said unfortunately that there is no time frame on how long it takes for a woman to have a change of heart, because each woman is wired differently. It could be many years before I see a change. I hope not. But I have to accept that fact.
There's something else I have to consider. When my wife finally has a change of heart and wants to resume having a healthy sex life, will I be able to perform to meet her desire? Or, will every hurtful thing she ever said come back to memory and I'll be dead below the waist because I can't be aroused by a woman who was so catty and emasculating?
I don't know. Only time will tell.