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NotDoneYet

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NotDoneYet
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NotDoneYet

Post by NotDoneYet »

Hi.
Quick bio- late 30's, married for 10 years, together for 18. Three kids- two tweens and a todler.
Both raised in Christian families- we attend church as a family on Sundays, but mom and dad both desire to grow our relationship with God.
Kids rule our lives- they seem to consume so much energy and time and seem to dictate (although unintentionally) our daily routines, and what we spend time on. This results in mom and dad having VERY little time alone together (seldomly sleep in the same bed for a whole night) as kids either demand that one sleep with them in one of their rooms, or crawl into our bed or sleep on our floor. The result is a love life that hardly exists at this stage and constant tension between mom and dad as a result thereof. Mom craves attention from dad, kids wrestles all attention away from her, mom gets frustrated and takes it out on the kids, dads gets frustrated with mom... and the circle goes on.
Anyway... that's us!
We look forward to learning and sharing our experiences.
benny
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by benny »

This is an easy trap to fall into and many parents do. This is all my opinion but I feel it's solid advice. You and your wife have to discuss this and both be on board. Be firm with the kids to insist they sleep in their own room, this will take time and be very stressful on everyone but it's worth the effort. Meanwhile you and the wife sneak away somewhere and have quickies until the kids cooperate. Put on their favorite show or game, etc and get with it. Meet each other's needs in haste. Plan a kids night out, if only for a couple of hours, with friends or family and spend time in each other's arms. Remember, it takes time to break bad habits. Be patient. Best of luck

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SeekingChange
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by SeekingChange »

Welcome! Thanks for sharing a little about yourself! If you desire, you are welcome to start threads or questions around your situation, where you can hear from others. There are multiple forum topics it might fit under, depending what your focus is.

Glad you are here! I hope TMB is an encouragement and a benefit to you and your marriage!

A reminder to fellow TMBers, this section is for intros and welcoming those people. Advice or deep discussion (a rabbit trail to the original intent) is something that needs a separate thread. Thanks.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
Marbles
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by Marbles »

Hi NotDoneYet and welcome. Being in the thick of raising young kids is a tough stage of life. My DH and I raised four, but they’re now grown, with the younger two in college. It gets better, but we had to find ways to prioritize our marital relationship. We told the kids for years that we needed to still like each other when they were grown. :lol: It worked. :o
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Beccaloo
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by Beccaloo »

::al :mrgreen: Welcome :mrgreen: ::al
Thanks for sharing some about yourself.
I think you'd get some helpful advice if you start a new thread in any of the areas you seem to be struggling in.
Thanks @ Seeking Change for the reminder to keep this area just for intros.
It makes things easier for those who come afterwards & are searching for answers.
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DoveGrey
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by DoveGrey »

Welcome! You've definitely come to the right place. You'll find that many here have experienced what you are going through, and you'll get a lot of great tips.

I'm looking forward to your contributions!
Wife of 21 years
Irnmyk
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by Irnmyk »

If not just a lot of plain old empathy from those who have 'been there, done that'.

Welcome!!!!
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newwifenewlife
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by newwifenewlife »

Welcome aboard! I pray you'll find encouragement and help. (Yes, I certainly believe you are coming to a good place to ask questions.)
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Hiswifeagain
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by Hiswifeagain »

Welcome to TMB, NDY


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Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15
NotDoneYet
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Re: NotDoneYet

Post by NotDoneYet »

Thank you everyone. Look forward to learning and sharing.
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