Do you feel this is the majority of husbands? To me it feels like it would be the minority. For example, we just had @Mrs.Nerd share a very commical story of her husband totally missing her "needs". It seems to men some people/personalities/giftings just aren't as intuitive to the depths and real needs of others.
In those cases, what would your advice be to that husband and wife? If a wife has to constantly say what she needs, and he seems to not ever get it on his own, isn't that a form of her having to take the lead? I guess at the very least, or maybe it's the worst... it leaves her feeling unknown and like she really can't trust that he will take care of her needs, therefore it lacks that place of safety and security.