Domestic Discipline

What about headship and submission? Unsaved spouse? Other marriage roles.
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David
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by David »

I'm a bit confused. This sounds to me like a euphemism for domestic violence, possibly with an element of coercive control such that the abused partner "consents".

 
Raymond
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by Raymond »

I have an interest in spanking as a sexual thing but I think it is wrong for a husband to dominate his wife in this way. It is true that the husband is supposed to lead and the wife is encouraged to be subject to him but nowhere does it say that a husband should dominate and even punish his wife. I think it can be wife cruelty but am aware that some wives want this. I can only imagine that they have low self esteem or self hatred or something. A minority of people, a husband or a wife,  do get a kick out of being spanked and find it very sexual and a bit of fun but a DD marriage is very questionable in my opinion.
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vazny
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by vazny »

SeekingChange wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:11 am Does anyone have any experience with this?  
Have you ever had a desire for it, or considered it?
 

Little bit. My wife likes erotic spanking from young age. And I was also from young age near to bondage.

Sometimes we discussed about possibility to use it for instance as play-tool against obesity - unhealthy customs etc. (mutually). But never did it.

Only during wild holidays in youth when we have had evenings in nature I warned her before a little bit harder track (for us, not for normal people) to waterfalls that we will play the obedience game. That I will spank her in evenings really hard, if she will repeatedly complaints or not be obedient. I've looked at her during track with warning and she knew. But it was only obedience play for some days.

We played other very crazy one day games during youth time on holidays. For instance on dependency: That she must not use hands for any service for herself and I was her servant in feeding, dressing up, washing of hands and body etc.
LovingHimAlways
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by LovingHimAlways »

We have no interest in domestic discipline of any kind. We believe it is wrong for either spouse to discipline or "punish" the other.
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by Deleted User 2085 »

I am late to this thread but it is important. I have heard it is getting much press time now, due to the "Grey" novels and movies.

Does anyone have any experience with this?

She once did something which deeply offended and hurt me. Rather than asking for forgiveness, she requested punishment. This was strictly non-sexual and I did not enjoy it at any level. Her offense and the punishment have never been repeated.

Have you ever had a desire for it, or considered it?

After the above experience, i gave it though, as did she. No, neither of us have any such desire.

What are your thoughts and opinions?

I am bigger than her and many times stronger. I have had extensive warrior training in empty hand combat. I know what I could do. The thought of hurting her, even in the slightest, is too painful for me to bear.
We do not equate pain with making love. In our minds and hearts, they can not co-exist.

How would you advise a couple considering this? Do you have Scriptural backing for your stance?

Forgiving seventy times seven is at the heart of every successful marriage and the ultimate goal of salvation.
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by DoveGrey »

bandaddie wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2022 10:41 am Forgiving seventy times seven is at the heart of every successful marriage and the ultimate goal of salvation.
That gets to the crux of it, I think. A punishment is a one-off. It robs the couple of a mature discussion that allows for growth and sanctification.

Thank you for your honesty. You are right, it was important.
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All the days of her life.
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vazny
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by vazny »

DoveGrey wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2022 11:16 am
bandaddie wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2022 10:41 am Forgiving seventy times seven is at the heart of every successful marriage and the ultimate goal of salvation.
That gets to the crux of it, I think. A punishment is a one-off. It robs the couple of a mature discussion that allows for growth and sanctification.

Thank you for your honesty. You are right, it was important.
Exactly this is the main problem for me. My wife loves spanking (semi-hard) and the fear from dominant. Why? I don't know, she said that it know from very early childhood. I am not typical dominant, in old time, I had many psychical problems from my family, however I know that God task for me is to be stronger. However, when I need to find reason for spanking, it is hard for me:
  • Something is too sensitive and serious to involve in the game.
  • I am not perfect, and who disciplines me?
  • I desire far more to forgive than to punish.
So I have come up with two semi-funny rules so far, which I mostly protect with the threat of a spanking, but I am very happy to forgive:

My wife must notice me when I arrive (in very small appt), interrupt the activity (if it is not uninterrupted) and kiss me welcome. (Until recently, she pretty much ignored me, but we experienced an erotic awakening of our love, including a bit dominance/submissiveness.) If she forgets, I usually go and stand in front of her face and waiting.

And maybe the other one that she won't yell at me angrily. She can say any disapproval, admonishment, protest, but normally with a bit of respect.

She takes it for fun and when she broken the rule (mostly the second one), she looks at me in awe to see if I noticed. I pretend to remember and there will be consequences.

But it's a game. We are playfully learning something, it is not reality. She loves this adventure. (Of course, it has to be interrupted if she is in a bad mood, has had a hard day, or as the last - difficult stressful driving in a blizzard.)
2pak
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by 2pak »

I think this is fun...
A couple of thoughts:

Your first rule is fun. I like it. Change it up every so often to keep it interesting. (Serve ice cold beer when I arrive, topless when I arrive...whatever YOU like.)

Yelling angrily is not fun play, that falls into a hard boundary category. I would not goad her into this in as play. You're playfully, weakly reinforcing disrespect. If/since she's a brat, this can backfire.

Have you considered making a formal or informal D/s contract?

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vazny
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by vazny »

We haven't formal agreement... Because for us is this game think of last one month. And we believe that we will play it for some time (until some other good thinks will be in our relationship). We have only stop-word and signal. Never used, as I understand when she is out of role. (For instance, when I grabbed her arthritic hand or leg insensitive. We have alternative substitute position for her.) And she is sometimes "slave of dominant Gorean hero", so what about contract for "a lawless female slave, thing". :D :roll: :D

What is a bit problem is that she loves threatening to spank. And she asks how much, what, how. I reply with Gorean sayings that a curious girl-slave will soon be beaten and that I don't like a slave girl who advises her master. In reality don't want to commit to being able to forgive her or change it, also who knows if we'll be alone in the apartment. But she longs for a feeling of concrete threat.

Aren't we crazy at 50+? But our sex lasted from a few tens of minutes to hours. And it is almost every day. Despite the numbness, ED, ...
MrMarried
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Re: Domestic Discipline

Post by MrMarried »

Brynna wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2020 3:11 am I knew nothing about DD until it was mentioned on these boards a couple years ago. So I checked it out online. It was very disturbing to me. The biggest thing was that the wife had to literally live perfect or get spanked. The one example given was the wife getting spanked for forgetting her phone at home. Well, who is spanking the husband for his less than perfect behavior? Such as grumpy days, forgetfulness, not getting all his work done, etc. When DH and I discussed it, we agreed that no husband on earth is perfect enough to train his wife with spanking.
Same with me. I read about it here first. I think in this types of situations, either the husband just enjoys spanking his wife or the wife enjoys getting spanked, or both. Some women try to talk their husbands into it, even the severe discipline stuff. Maybe they like being dominated. It seems to be like an S&M thing to some people even if they use different language to describe it.
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