What are the best parts about having children?

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MrsNerd
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by MrsNerd »

I’m guilty of sometimes not directly answering questions, I’ve realized. Drives my DH nuts. Ha. “Your question reminded me of something that I’d like to bring up now!”
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by Duchess »

Oops. I do it too. I'm sorry, to whomever I have answered with something that was way off from the question!
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by Happily married »

Wow, where to begin and what to add that's not all ready been stated. Children are a lot of work - at any age. Even into adulthood there can be challenges, but that's how you all grow. In spite of the work and the tears I'm reminded first that children are a gift from the Lord. It's a joy to have them run up to you after church and show you their art work from Sunday school and tell you the story of what they learned about Daniel in the lions den or the birth of Jesus. It's a joy to see all the firsts in their lives and the wonder they have at experiencing something for the first time, the joyful expressions and wide eyed looks of glee. It's also rewarding to hold them when they're a teen because they just had their first break up and they sob in your arms because of the hurt or come and talk to you about things or listen to what they like and don't like. They give you a reason to always have candy in the house and run barefoot in the yard. Yes, it's frustrating when one day they talk your ear off and the next they are silent. But the greatest joy is hearing them pray to receive Christ as Savior and then watch them mature in their faith, to be a part of guiding them in their walk with Christ.
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by Tantalum »

Rationally, you can't convince her. She is right. Child-rearing involves a massive loss of freedom and a huge burden of time, money, and energy. True. If you want a comfortable life, put up your feet, maximise enjoyment, children will hinder you.

But nothing, nothing is comparable to the experience of having children. My life has been immensely more valuable, meaningful and purposeful. The only way I can describe it is a religious experience - you can talk about it as much as you like to an atheist, it's pointless. You have either been through it, or not.

So I'm not sure what I can say. That I feel I have been part of the divine experience, that I have lived and loved, that I know I could kill and die for my children if I had to? That I have seen Life deeper than I could have every imagined? That nothing I have ever done or achieved is comparable to being a father?

I know this sounds strange but in some ways DW and I are lucky - there was no dilemma or decision making for us. We were dating and she got pregnant accidentally; the decision was made for us. Thank God, for arranging it for us.

(As I final few words, I must admit I also feel strongly that any society where children are being viewed as a burden, motherhood is devalued and women in large numbers lose the desire to have children, is a society committing suicide.)
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by MoreBlessed »

I didn’t always have a positive view of children but after becoming a Christian I tried to change my point of view to match God’s...children are a blessing and a reward. I love being a parent! It has been the source of my greatest joy and also my greatest heartache. Raising children is exhausting but I have become SUCH a better person and better Christian because of it. My short list of joys would include:
-learning that the God of creation has trusted you with a life inside of you!
-feeling a baby inside your body! From the first little wiggles to watching a full grown babies kick and move inside you! Amazing!
-the bonding that occurs as your husband helps you get through a birth.
-holding your newly born baby and kissing their head!
-nursing and the incredible bond that is created with your child.
-amazing calming hormones that are released when your milk lets down...every time you nurse!
-your baby falling asleep in your arms.
-seeing your baby fall asleep in your spouses arms.
-first smiles and all the firsts.
-their infectious giggles and laughs.
-seeing your baby become a big brother or sister and the joy on their face!
-when your child comes to snuggle with you in bed, especially in the morning.
-watching them sacrifice for others.
-reading stories all cuddled on the sofa.
-sharing something new...a cool critter you find, a new food that tastes different, watching something you’ve never seen before, learning at a museum together.
-being so proud of them for something they worked hard to accomplish.
-crying and consoling each other in grief.
-watching them grow and mature.
-seeing them accept Jesus as their Lord.
-serving the Lord together side by side.
-having them encourage you on a tough day.
-seeing them grow into amazing adults.
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by Duchess »

All that everyone else has said, plus this: We were married for twelve years and actively trying for a baby for 9 before God blessed us with a daughter. So first of all, don't take it for granted that it is in your control. Remember that only God creates life, and only he chooses when and where. People talk about "having children" or "becoming parents" like children are accessories to one's life, like a pet, or a new hobby like learning to snorkel. Being gifted with the responsibility for caring for a young soul until it is able to seek God on its own is not a decision but a calling. The only reason it seems so matter-of-fact is that God loves to create life and does it abundantly. A new life is a miracle seedling, planted in the garden of a home and family and tended by the Master Gardener and his apprentices, the new Mom and Dad. It's not just the child growing, but the parents, too. If marriage is the representation of Christ and the church, and meant for us to polish our rough edges and become more like the Son, then  it seems to me parenthood is a picture of God's care for his children and teaches us more fully than any other experience what it means to try to imitate God.

Obviously, just as there are those who are perfectly within God's plan to never marry, there are those couples who are perfectly within God's plan to remain a family of two. (I fought hard with myself to be ready and willing in case that was His plan for us, for me, because I desperately wanted us to have children!)

For me a lot of it was about wanting what comes after me to be better than what I came from. My DH and I work hard to ensure that our marriage is a haven for us, a safe space of love and acceptance. And we've done a good job. I guess in some ways, we just wanted to invite more to the party.

What else has God given us our freedom, time, money, and energy for but to make what comes after better than what came before, to prepare us for Heaven, and to share in the glory of His love?
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by 69greyshades »

@Nova , sorry for replying completely the opposite of what you asked.

Not for the same reasons as your wife, but I am on the same side as your wife. It would be interesting to hear her views on the topic of children.
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Re: What are the best parts about having children?

Post by Deleted User 2085 »

I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what is my third favorite reptile.
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