Chalk & Cheese sons

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Chalk & Cheese sons

Post by OnlyByGrace »

Chalk and Cheese... the best way to describe our sons.
DS#1 (A) - 2 children to 2 different mums, was married to #2 mum - separated prior to the birth. Now in 2nd relationship since the separation. (Not accepting anything of the Christian upbringing he was raised with.)
~ A has a beautiful partner (B), will do ANYTHING to keep the peace. Has mild mental and physical health issues. She has full support of DS#1. But he is very self-centred in every other way. (He has a backstory shared in another post/part of the forum, mixed in with my story).

DS#2 (C) - married to a beautiful wife (D) for 18 months. Having issues with falling pregnant - 2 early miscarriages in recent times. Wife has mild anxiety issues. Has full support of DS#2. (Fully engaged in their own faith journeys. Leadership role in local church, full of generosity and love for others.)

A is intimidating to D. (His logic and behaviours can intimidate me!) He refuses to accept her offers of generosity at family gatherings. He fails to see baking and sharing is a tool for overcoming her anxiety. But he sees it as her drawing attention to herself. He is so far off the mark. C supports D, his wife, and they have skipped a couple of gatherings because of this intimidation. However, A sees no way that his actions have any part in what is playing out. C & D want to put this behind them, but A won't let it go.

For what it is worth, and this is only one muddled example, Hubby and I support C & D, and cannot understand A's logic at all. B stands by A... As I said above, she is a peacekeeper. It hurts that we have these issues, when we only have the two sons and the families they create.

Question: Of course others will have adult children who are like chalk and cheese with their siblings. How do you deal with it, when one is so far off the mark, yet has no insight his own actions?
💜 Tread gently, sit compassionately, love abundantly 💜
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Re: Chalk & Cheese sons

Post by Better...Understanding »

Yes, no two people are the same even if they have the same biological parents & are brought-up in the same house.

We just handle our two children differently as far as possible but try to be fair in all circumstances & situations.

My wife is better in understanding our two children & she does a great job in it.
Love & Enjoy . . .
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