They can. But that doesn't mean some other individual is obligated to marry someone who does this. If a woman can only have interest in men who are over 6 feet or are muscular and if a woman can want to marry a redhead or a woman with long legs, and no one has a problem with it, why couldn't virginity be a criteria?SLS wrote: ↑Sun Oct 10, 2021 2:48 pm
If Mark lied to Sue and said he had no previous sexual partners when in fact he did it would make sense that Sue is upset. If he is willing to lie to her like that at the beginning of their relationship I would suggest breaking up,
On the other hand if the subject of sexual pasts had not come up until this moment and Mark honestly answered that he had had a previous pre-marital sexual relationship and has since repented there is no reason for Sue to be angry.
Again I would suggest breaking up since in this case Sue is apparently unable to offer grace for Mark's past failings.
For "not being a virgin" to be a true dealbreaker IMO there has to be some follow on consequence that would severely hinder a marriage (i.e., an STD, unrepentant behavior, etc.). In some parts of Christian culture there is an obsession about virginity rather than a call to purity. A person can sin sexually but then repent and make a commitment to sexual purity.MrMarried wrote: ↑Sat Oct 09, 2021 11:21 amIt is reasonable for a potential partner not being a virgin to be a deal breaker, unless you are dating a widow or widower. We live in an unreasonable age. Forgiveness doesn't have to be the key issue here. Maybe that needs to occur. But you can forgive someone without marrying them.
the Old Testament implies that virginity is desirable. A woman married off as a virgin who wasn't could be executed for fornicating in her father's house. Priests could marry virgins of Israel or widows of other priests, but not a defiled woman.Before I met my wife I made a commitment that I would never reject a potential spouse on the sole basis of whether or not they were a virgin. Yes, I desired that both my future spouse and I would be virgins because that is the path that leads to less heartache and potential issues. But I was mature enough to understand that being a virgin was not a magical state of purity and that even as a virgin I committed many sexual sins in my thought life.
As it turns out my future wife was indeed a virgin but the principle remains. Rejecting someone on the sole basis of virginity is not correct in my view.
My concern was that I did not want a woman who had been 'one flesh' with another man, so it was a deal breaker for me... either that or a virtuous widow. But I was young and certainly preferred a virgin. I am not saying everyone has to think the same way.