Why does he do this?

[Deleted User 3205]

...When we attended church, I often asked hubby to at least talk to somebody about these issues. He said no. Every time, so I've felt pretty defeated for quite a while. If I vent to anyone else like family or friends, I'm being told as my husband says - over sensitive and they have much bigger life problems. With that said I feel like this is a just ME problem, my husband is never wrong and I'm just over imagining things that happen right before my eyeballs.

It seems like he doesn't respect you...and the last sentence is very concerning. He's gaslighting you as sayayo7565 says and some of your thoughts concern me but I'll admit that I have some bias towards questioning his faithfulness to you.

If I forget to introduce my wife, she'll step in and introduce herself as my wife (as DG does) and I'll apologize to my wife AND to the person I'm with (but honestly, sometimes it's because I forget there name and am embarrassed for that , although I've found that I can usually get by with introducing my wife and then the person will say their name. Crisis averted!)

Just don't forget your wife's name, or you might get a good bopping for that! lol

Yeah, he prefers to ignore things rather than to deal with them. He lives in a state of denial alot. The other day I said that he did xyz and right away, without missing a beat, he replies with, "No, I didn't." Alot of his go-to responses these days have been, "No, I don't/didn't. - I don't know. - I don't care." Honestly, it's almost like trying to reason with a teenager! When I say, "but you DID just do xyz!" It's straight up denial and he won't admit any faults. I can say as a matter of fact what he just did and he just denies it all with a straight face. It's not easy and I feel more like a mother than a wife these days. He doesn't want to think about anything, except what he thinks is OK. I dunno. I have alot of mixed feelings.

[newwifenewlife]

A-tiredWife, can you answer some questions:
-is your opinion valued in your marriage?
-Does he take responsibility for anything or is a problem always someone else’s fault?
-Does your husband keep you in the dark on things?
-If you asked him about money or his time, what happens?
-Do you have to be accountable to him for your whereabouts and activities?

[Deleted User 3205]

A-tiredWife, can you answer some questions:
-is your opinion valued in your marriage?
-Does he take responsibility for anything or is a problem always someone else’s fault?
-Does your husband keep you in the dark on things?
-If you asked him about money or his time, what happens?
-Do you have to be accountable to him for your whereabouts and activities?

These things typically aren't a huge problem. Why do you ask?

[newwifenewlife]

These things typically aren't a huge problem. Why do you ask?

Just trying to understand a little more with some of the things you’ve shared.

[Deleted User 3205]

All I know for a fact is that we can go on long car rides and not say a single word. He never initiates conversation and often thinks I'm mad or upset if I'm not the one talking. (which I'm not) So, with that being said, it's highly irritating to see him light up at other women when they approach him, even if just in passing. He tends to initiate the greetings with them, but I don't very often receive that much, if at all.

He told me of one time when he took a different girl out on a date. Long before he and I dated, and he says that there was never a second date and he lost interest after this date. Why? Because neither of them said anything at all, the entire time! I asked him if he initiated conversation? He said he did, but I don't know for sure because I know myself for a fact that he can literally go for hours, not conversing one bit. It gets exhausting having to be the one who needs to be initiating just about everything around here. I think there probably are some poor social skills that need work.

[newwifenewlife]

What’s his temperament?
What is his family of origin like (mom & dad specifically) when it comes to conversation? Conflict?

[Deleted User 3205]

His parents never communicated well. Hubby avoids conflict with his own family as much as possible, so he rarely speaks to them, either. It's not family if there's no fights, if you know what I mean.