You can be right or Happy in Marriage

[Paradox]

This dichotomy rarely exists in good marriages.

[TxGuy]

In my world “Happy Wife, Happy Life” is a destructive worldly view of marriage. A much better Christian life version would be “Happy Spouse, Happy House”. Each spouse should be tuned in to make sure they are creating a wonderful married life for each other. My parents were married for 64 years. What a legacy. But, I saw areas of their life that I know I don’t want to pattern my marriage after. I want to be better in those areas that I saw as areas that could have been improved upon. Marriage should not just be focused on making the wife happy. We are here for a short time. Marriage should be so good that we wish it would continue in Heaven. It should not cause us to get to the end of our life and think “thank God there is no marriage in Heaven”.

…I’m gonna use that…. Good stuff!

Absolutely glad it spoke to you. If more people had that attitude marriages across the board would be so much better. Each spouse should strive to make a marriage the other feels completely fulfilled in. Not all will agree.

[TxGuy]

In my world “Happy Wife, Happy Life” is a destructive worldly view of marriage. A much better Christian life version would be “Happy Spouse, Happy House”. Each spouse should be tuned in to make sure they are creating a wonderful married life for each other. ...

Personally, I bristle at anything that inserts "happy". My now-ex/then wife just wanted to be "happy" and believed that God wanted to her be "happy" so if that meant that she could no longer be married to me and screwing someone else then it was better to not be married to me and pursue heart and lover. (Of course, he was still porking his ex-wife but that's one of several ironies she's experienced/ ) Happiness is subject to one's expectations and circumstances aligning. My wife and I don't always make each other happy nor are we happy with our circumstances BUT we can chose joy and to embrace our commitment to each other when our happiness or feelings of love are fleeting due to life's storms or the hurt we can inflict on each other on occasion.

I hear you. I spent a lot of time and money trying to make my first wife happy. I also married her when I sure wasn’t being led by God. I was thinking with the wrong head. When the good sec was over I tried to buy things to make her happy. It didn’t work. It probably lasted 3-3 1/2 years before we divorced.
I met my DW on a blind date. We have been together for 27 years and we are happy. Very rarely do we ever have a difference of opinion. Everyone sees life through a different lens. We may not always like our circumstances but we are happy that we have each other and the Lord to help get us through those wilderness times. I certainly understand in some small way what you are saying. Be blessed.