Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

How does God fit into our sex lives?
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RedsPastor
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by RedsPastor »

SongOfAngels wrote: Tue Jan 11, 2022 2:57 pm After not reading the site for awhile, i revisited recently to notice there are MANY more nude pictures. I wouldn't say they're "pornographic" at all, really, but there certainly are bare breasts which i question...why put that there?
My point exactly.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. -- 1 Corinithians 15:10
Irnmyk
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by Irnmyk »

RedsPastor wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:38 am
SongOfAngels wrote: Tue Jan 11, 2022 2:57 pm After not reading the site for awhile, i revisited recently to notice there are MANY more nude pictures. I wouldn't say they're "pornographic" at all, really, but there certainly are bare breasts which i question...why put that there?
My point exactly.
I can work google, so I did, not being familiar with this site.

My initial impression is that the photos are way too professional, the subjects being model quality with respect to their photogenic characteristics. Real people just don't look that good consistently. Don't believe me? Just go out and stroll through Wal Mart's aisles for a few minutes.

Overall, this site doesn't look like something that I'd be interested in.
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footnassman
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by footnassman »

Irnmyk wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:46 am
RedsPastor wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:38 am
SongOfAngels wrote: Tue Jan 11, 2022 2:57 pm After not reading the site for awhile, i revisited recently to notice there are MANY more nude pictures. I wouldn't say they're "pornographic" at all, really, but there certainly are bare breasts which i question...why put that there?
My point exactly.
I can work google, so I did, not being familiar with this site.

My initial impression is that the photos are way too professional, the subjects being model quality with respect to their photogenic characteristics. Real people just don't look that good consistently. Don't believe me? Just go out and stroll through Wal Mart's aisles for a few minutes.

Overall, this site doesn't look like something that I'd be interested in.
I went there....looked to be 90% + BS. Sorry...but reminded me of "Dear Penthouse Forum.....I never thought I would write you, but......"

I acknowledge, that I am sure I am the ONLY ONE who understands the above....and I shouldnt understand it, but I do....all made up ###. Sophomoric writing skills....."the dewey dawn...."

I lost interest in such at quite the young age.

Sorry if I let my standards down in going there.....I cant resist a double dog dare....
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by RedsPastor »

footnassman wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 12:34 pm

I went there....looked to be 90% + BS. Sorry...but reminded me of "Dear Penthouse Forum.....I never thought I would write you, but......"

I acknowledge, that I am sure I am the ONLY ONE who understands the above....and I shouldnt understand it, but I do....all made up ###. Sophomoric writing skills....."the dewey dawn...."

I lost interest in such at quite the young age.

Sorry if I let my standards down in going there.....I cant resist a double dog dare....
I understand exactly where you're coming from....in my pre-Christ days, penthouse was a choice of mine.

I agree with you that much, if not all, of what is on there is fiction. I do not believe that much, if any of it is truth. it is certainly not professionallyt written, but then again, i think that's one of the points of the website. most people that write this stuff (myself included) aren't professionals, so they simply write off the cuff, as it were. They do their best to be "50 shades"...when they are barely a single shade. A recent thought of mine in light of this thread has been this: "i wonder how many of these authors have solid marriages" vs "i wonder how many of them write this because they WISH it what happening to them, because IRL it's the opposite (no sex life at all, refused marriage, etc.)
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. -- 1 Corinithians 15:10
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SeekingChange
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by SeekingChange »

RedsPastor wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 1:13 pm They do their best to be "50 shades"...when they are barely a single shade. A recent thought of mine in light of this thread has been this: "i wonder how many of these authors have solid marriages" vs "i wonder how many of them write this because they WISH it what happening to them, because IRL it's the opposite (no sex life at all, refused marriage, etc.)
:lol: Exactly.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by DoveGrey »

Exhausting week at work, so I'm late to the party here.

That was very well written feedback. I think you covered all the points very well.

I'm laughing at the 50 Shades reference. It's so true. So much of what is written there reads like bad 50 Shades fanfiction, which was already poorly written fanfiction of a poorly written book. (Also, I'm not certain that the author of 50 Shades has ever actually had sex based on how she writes it, but I digress.)

I do think much of it is fiction. I write as a hobby, and I'm quite certain I couldn't write every single detail of a sexual encounter as is done there. I'm too in the moment to remember every detail. So much of it reads like fantasy.

I also wonder, given how ludicrous it is to have a sexually explicit website for Christians, how many of the writers are nonChristians who are trolling. And what does that site say about Christianity? How does that glorify God? I absolutely could head over there and write something that would knock someone's socks off and probably get a number of interesting comments, but I would only be glorifying myself in the process while leading others into sin. I'm pretty sure there are at least a couple of Scripture verses cautioning against that sort of thing. 😉
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RedsPastor
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by RedsPastor »

So, y’all saw what I wrote them. This was the response I received from their representative. I found it….interestingly worded.

“ your heartfelt concerns are absolutely taken in the spirit given. Thank you for your insight.

I think your observations are at the crux of what MH stands for, really. For some, being aroused by anything other than their spouse causes shame and grief because they believe as you do. So for them, MH offers no value and could cause discontent or drive a wedge between them and their Lord.

Our belief, and what we base our existence on, is that sex between a man and woman who have bound themselves to each other for life in the eyes of God and their community cannot be impure. The marriage relationship—an intrinsically sexual one—is to be held in high regard by all, and the world mostly just doesn't. It gives people a view of sex as most enjoyable without that commitment and an image of marriage that often ridicules and denigrates it as a restriction or resignation in the sexual aspect. For its part, the Church has focused very well on encouraging abstinence before marriage but has failed to encourage the needed positive regard for the marriage bed and what we can look forward to in it (though we have seen slow growth in this regard.) We want to offer hope that a good Christian marriage can include the best of sex if both partners put each other's needs and desires foremost.

We bill MH as erotica and agree that people come to MH to be aroused; as long as that arousal inspires hope and action toward building a more loving and passionate marriage, we think that's is in keeping with the verses you mentioned and the intent of the Song of Solomon. But if reading and writing and conversing about hot, passionate marriage sex (like that described in SoS in the racy terms of its day) makes them feel dirty (as with you) or desire something or someone they shouldn't, or if it distracts them from their spouse, then MH isn't a safe or helpful space for them. It is good for them to avoid it.

So we offer a deferential goodbye and pray that your relationship with your wife grows daily more intimate and passionate as your relationship with Christ does too. Walk in the Spirit.”

So, there you go…it sounds like “they” are simply trying to justify things, but maybe that’s just me.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. -- 1 Corinithians 15:10
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by SongOfAngels »

RedsPastor wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2022 12:23 pm
So, there you go…it sounds like “they” are simply trying to justify things, but maybe that’s just me.
Well of course, comes as no surprise. To admit otherwise would cause them to shut down or reinvent their site.
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Re: Marriage Heat Account Deletion -- My feedback

Post by DoveGrey »

I understand their desire to provide hope that marriage can provide the best sex. That's what this site does. It's important work.

However, where does one draw the line? Would it be acceptable to watch porn as long as it was of a married couple? Is it all right to bring a camera operator into the bedroom to get good angles?

I am honestly curious if the site admins over there would have a problem with these things. If a couple has already allowed multiple third parties to visualize such detailed intimate acts, then I personally see no difference between the written word and a video. Maybe they wouldn't have a problem with it; that's between them and "their" Lord. (I thought that was an interesting choice of words.) But if adding video to the site would be an issue, then I'd wonder why.

Also - nonChristians already laugh at the idea of Christian romance novels. I shudder to think about what is said about Christian erotica.
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